I managed to fool, er, I mean convince, the Statuesque Mrs. RNE that this is not a mileage run ("Honey," I intoned feigning disbelief, "How could you think I would waste money flying somewhere I didn't need to go?"). I explained to her that this trip will allow me to spend more time with my No.2 son—especially now that he beat that mass murder rap. (What was the prosecutor thinking!? Those streetwalkers deserved what they got!)

Because No.2 son has a couple of unscheduled vacation days from work, and because he took 4 years of German in reform school, he's going with me! Thank you, Xyzzy, for pointing out the low fares to Cologne, Germany, a country I haven't visited since before my sons were born.

We're going CLE-EWR-CGN-EWR-CLE, Apr. 10 and returning Apr. 13, for $480.30 p.p. all in, earning me 8578 EQMs and 19,090 OP miles. And, lest we forget, I get to swill Lar' Baby's booze for free at EWR both ways, thus taking seats away from the paying members, thanks to my Platinum status. ^ (Of course, I expect the PC doorkeepers will try to insist Cologne is a fragrance, not a city, and therefore not an international destination.)

QUESTIONS: Where should we stay? What should we see? And, lastly, I have a seat question: We're in 7A&B on the 757-200. I know what Seat Guru says about those seats, does anybody have any firsthand TATL experience in that row?

Danke schön!