Have you finished yet?

So we are back to the Hilton Shanghai. My last visit here was a mix – I was travelling then as a Diamond for the first time and although I was personally greeted at the door and taken to the fake Exec Lounge checkin (they were refurbing the lounge at that time) I was initially given an awful small room but then moved to an un-refurbished larger room (not a suite). This after they wake me up I am again greeted by a western member of staff but this time I taken to the new Lounge. WOW – what a difference. The lounge they were using was actually a bar previously and it had been very dim and dark. This was bright and airy with great views over SHA. My initial impressions are good although why they offer me a drink and then say I can’t take it back to my room is beyond me (at the Conrad on Sunday they carried my welcome drink to my room for me).

I am then taken to my new room which has been refurbished – not quite as stunning as my first stay there but very nice. The one annoying feature is that they have installed a glass desk. Now this looks stunning but I would estimate that the majority of people have optical mice nowadays rather than rollerball mice – and a glass desk does not work well with an optical mouse. Now you might think this is nitpicking and slightly hypercritical – but (bear with me on this) – it is all about meeting the needs of your market and this just shows they haven’t thought about people like me who cart and optical mouse around with me everywhere…

The room is nice though – the standard plasma TV and the large (but very hard) bed and possibly one of the best showers (more power arf arft) I have had outside of my house.

On a slightly disappointing note there are no chocolates or wine unlike my other stays

[aside]

So a little more about me – a topic I know is dear to all of your hearts. I used to sleep well. I really mean that. I lived as a child on an air force base and would sleep through my father being summoned out of the house by an alarm sounded on the base (500m away) that could be heard 8KM away. I really really slept well.

Times change, people change (certainly their girth does – but that is a story for the next next TR) and now sleep is not my friend. The problem I have is that if I doze even for a few minutes my body reacts as if I have had a full night’s sleep – so a brief nap in the early evening or afternoon will mean I wont sleep most of the night… you can perhaps see where this is going…

[/aside]

So after my power nap in the Lexus I knew I was not in for an early night. Sadly what I was not prepared for Mila Jovavich in Ultraviolet – if I felt soiled by Superbad, betrayed by Invasion then this my friends was the point at which I wanted rip my eyes out. As a result I spend a restless night half sleeping half waiting until a reasonable time to wake up would appear – as a result it is a slightly groggy sim that makes it to the office for what turned out to be a very productive day.

The day is nicely broken by a post Chinese New Year lunch banquet with the finance team where again my constitution is tested by the menu selections – I manage to dodge the Jelly Fish completely and side step the “soft” chicken bones (they weren’t soft and they didn’t taste like chicken) after the first mouthful – but overall semi-adventurous. Not as adventurous as the team would like me to be – but it is all about baby steps

That evening it is back to the Hotel for my first experience cocktails in the new lounge. After being overwhelmed last night I am tad underwhelmed tonight. The big disappointment are the wine options – Chinese White or Red. Now the Chinese are renowned for many cultural and culinary achievements – wine making is not one of them. Let us never mention the wines again. Similarly the food is a little disappointing – I guess on reflection my benchmark is the Conrad in Hong Kong where I am paying twice or three times the price.

Ok – you all need to prepare yourselves for a shock. I have not been entirely honest with you. I may seem to be a debonair sophisticate but deep down (well not that deep really) I have a dark secret and that is time to reveal that. It is time for the mask to be removed and the true sim is revealed.
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I like simple cold beer – most often something like a Budweiser or an Amstel or Asahi – I am not a posh micro-brewery type – I drink when I am thirsty and need to be refreshed not to be drawn in rich nutty under-currents of tar and smoke – I leave that for the Shiraz (aka Syrah). So at times all I want is a ice cold bud from the bottle!!!!

So having outed myself I should continue on with the story. The story of a quest, not for truth or justice not for gold ring to cast into the firey pits nor even for a blonde haired princess to rescue from the evil styep-mother (are there any other sort?). No this is much more important than that – this is a quest… for cold beer. I mean for chrissakes how hard can it be?

My first night needing (now that’s a bad word to use in reference to alcomohol) a beer and I initially served something at a temperature akin to tepid water that you would dissolve yeast in while making bread. As I request a second I plan ahead and ask if I could just hold the bottle to see if cold really does mean cold – sadly it doesn’t. Given my options are the unmentionables or a slightly warmer than hoped for beer then we will stick with the beer

Now I said this was a quest – and I thought at first it was my heroic efforts battling overwhelming odds for the love of beer but in reality this was a quest for REDMEPTION! Having seen my puppy dogs broken hearted face at the warmth of the beer the floor supervisor comes to me as I am leaving to introduce me to Nancy. As the supervisor is not working tomorrow she has instructed Nancy to put up to 5 (I only asked for 2) beers in cold storage for me and Nancy will ensure my cold beer requirements are addressed.

The next night (my last in SHA) Nancy dutifully hunts me down and plies me with beer that is colder than the previous night – I guess they just don’t make those ice boxes as cold in China as the ones they are shipping to the rest of the world… However I will certainly give 10 for effort rating scale to be determined at a future date, all rating subject to change and no expectation of repetition of events leading to ratings should be assumed or relied upon when considering future cold beer requirement options.

Given my general levels of exhaustion on this trip a quiet night in the room is called for again. I decide after my couple of beers to have just a small glass of wine with dinner *cough* so it is a slightly seedier sim that awakes ready for his long travels ahead.

[aside]

Sorry about this but it is time to rant again (bet that didn’t catch you by surprise). Now despite shocking behaviour and taste in beer I am quite a foodie and as such pretty much every room service meal is not going to be any good. Tonight however there was an exception – a Bolognese that was pretty much edible.

There was one slight problem though – carrots. Now I know that there is no “real” Bolognese recipe. It is I believe a Ragout sauce and often has none or few of the ingredients that non-italians dump into their “SpagBol” but nowhere and never should carrots make it into a Bolognese sauce. It’s not 1942 and I am not fighting German pilots with my enhanced eyesight so please take your carrots and well just take them ... please

[/aside]

The matter of the carrots is now put to rest and we shall move on in peace and serenity. Breakfast is the usual delightful fare and I am advised that the car is being brought round for me – this statement could be considered to not be as accurate as it might have been as I am waiting for a few minutes for the car to come round. The time lost there is more than made up for as we get to PVG in 43 minutes!!!!!

Next we have the PVG experience – and I have to warn you that is not a short story and it all comes down to a lack of those barrier tapes at the gate entrances…