A tale of heartbreaking soup and human interaction

Journey – SYD-HKG
Flight no. – CX 162 – QF127
Class – Business
Seat – TBC

I have a slightly apprehensive day for some reason as I wake at 4AM for my 9AM collection. This is strange as I have not much to pack as I have opted for the hard core hand luggage only option of 1 rollaboard plus my laptop bag, The car arrives a little earlier than I expected so I leave a tad before my original plan – this should lead to a nice relaxing drive, or it would if half the roads had not been closed without associated detour signs indicating the way to go. So a slightly frazzled simongr struts up to the unimpressive SYD CX check in… and there the fun begins.

The check in queue is small but as ever people seem to be able to easily surpass my 30 second check in time average. I present my AA card and my QF card as I know that QF have put in my QF number and I plan to use AA for this trip (part of me is calling out to requalify for QF SG on a couple of flights but I hold out for a little while longer). There more than the expected number of quizzical looks and the service staff fail to make eye contact on the more than expected number of occasions… Eventually I am informed that although I was booked on this flight it was never ticketed and as J is full I can choose to fly whY or be rebooked on the later flight (given I don’t want to miss my appointment with the G&T master at the Conrad I need to be on the earlier flight) but I still need to speak to QF…

A slightly terse simongr calls the QF number to be told that although they took my money and sent me an itinerary they failed to ticket the flight – they can however (after more than the required hold music) book me onto QF127 and Eticket the rest of the itinerary. A slightly less than happy simongr wanders away from the CX desk to the QF desk for check in. It may seem a small thing but it is very annoying that QF can cock up a booking but then end up with the lion’s share of the revenue…

It is a very busy QF F check in which is not enhanced by the check in chick nicking off half way through the process for no apparent reason. I know that there are things that need to be done but how hard is it when checking in a OWE without luggage on a simple SYD-HKG itinerary not to vanish mid process? Anyway after what in reality compared to the whY and J queues is not a long time (however factoring in the change of carrier they has been serious erosion to my F lounge time) I am on my way to the lounge and a hard earned Veuve. I note that I was not offered an Epass out or inbound but given the lack of attention from the staffer I help myself – I could have grabbed more but as I intend for the foreseeable future to be entitled to these and we need to keep hand luggage weight down I just take and out and an in.

Immigration probably didn’t need an Epass again (a major change since my first few ex-SYD departures where the queues were horrendous) although it always helps at security. As I pass through the Duty Free I am horrified at the throng of people streaming up the escalators to the lounges – are we going to be overrun in our secluded enclaves? Thankfully as I begin to progress up the escalator they all troop back down having taken a wrong turning

In the lounge I head straight to a restaurant table, called mrssimongr to apprise he r of the check in ordeal (note I ordered my Veuve first) and proceed to have a slightly heated (more tepid than boiling I would guess) debate with the service staff about why I can’t have the non-breakfast menu when my phone clock clearly states it is past 11AM. Just a shame that my watch, her watch and the lounge clock all indicate that it is only 10:45AM…

After my “usual” of smokehouse bacon and poached eggs (officially 100% yum although missing the usual sourdough toast for some reason) and a couple of Veuves it is off to the gate. This is less than pleasant – I am a little early I admit (still [and this is a recurrent theme] a little burnt from my near disgorging experiences at HKG and NRT) but this is a confusing and confused process. There are frequent LOUD boarding calls for a JQ flight some gates away which have a two lanes for boarding left and right for “premium” and proles. However that flight also has a QF flight number so many people start to queue for our flight in the same way even though our premium/prole lines are right and left. No-one takes charge of this until the last possible moment before boarding.

Overall it is a slightly jaded simongr who reluctantly boards QF127 – I had been looking forward to being back on CX to HKG after the poor food efforts in J on QF recently.

As I board my enjoyment of the QF is already diminished as I see Sefton from my last QF flight in F on this route in charge of the F cabin – how I wish I was there. If you will recall the service was beyond immaculate on that flight so I know I would have been missing a treat if I had been on it. Again I am not happy that due to the reallocation to QF I am now in a lower deck window seat at the back – could QF have done anymore to annoy me today?

I take my seat and wait for the pre-flight drink and note there seems to sort of FEBO applied to the handing out of newspapers. After a while I am slightly bullish about having no-one sat next to me when someone sits down and then immediately tries to change seats to a more forward seat. The cabin crew say he can but they don’t know if the seat is already allocated (surely they should) but off he trots with nary a word to me (so not all bad then) only to reappear just before take off as required.

Frustratingly I have a talker. Now just for the record I do on occasions engage in human interaction. Generally this is through a three step process. Firstly we have the “meeting” where one actually meets the subject and determines if there are mutual associations that may be beneficial to either party, then the is the ”reoccurrence” which indicates whether the “meeting” may lead to the achievement of long or medium term goals. This is followed by ”mutual acknowledgement” – meaning that the “reoccurrence” of “meetings” has lead to mutually beneficial outcomes. So meeting some random on an aircraft frequently can fail to fit into even one of the above criteria. As a result I seek at all times to avoid the “talkers” and as a result enjoy the sanctity of my little flying isopod until the talker opens their mouth.

So let us set the scene – I boarded, and then the talker boarded, saw me, sort of took his seat and decided to move and NOW he spends the first 25 minutes of my journey yapping to me! As soon as the seat belt light is out he is offski so basically I have spent my time entertaining him until something better comes along – I am sadly too polite to say “listen mate I don’t care for you life or your business – why not just move along as there is nothing to see here”. Now this does put me into a different camp to QF009 but really when I fly I am there for my enjoyment (and my readers) and not to someone else’s time filler. And that I think is the crux of the matter – I am happy to engage in the odd bit of small talk but being grilled for 20 mins really is not on my list of to dos…
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That was a rant wasn’t it? Sorry about that – we shall try to stay on topic where we can Guarantees of being on topic do not indicate any endeavour to ensure the thread will remain on topic and should not be considered as such

Anyway so after 25 minutes where were we? Oh yes we are about to be served “lunch”. For context I don’t have that much experience of QF J class food having upgraded a lot of my last QF J flights to F and my last was QF22 NRT-SYD where I had to instruct the crew as to whether the food barely matched the menu. Where do I start – well let’s start with the soup as that is where the food started bad and continued on with a lack of inspiration and enticement. I know that I am not expecting Michelin starred restaurant quality food but the airlines have a “top chef” designing their menu. Now I do have issues with Neil Perry generally – for a start there is the pony tail – he doesn’t work in marketing and it is not 1987. Secondly he is not asian and as such not every meal needs a pseudo asian influence. Thirdly he doesn’t need to ruin my first wedding anniversary with poor food and service at Rockpool.

Setting aside my own personal bias I am served the “soup”. Again I need to set some criteria for how I am assessing the food. For example this weekend when mrssimongr was away I rewatched an episode of Heston Blumenthal’s (owner of one of the top 5 restaurants in the world) “In search of perfection” to work out how to cook great Fish and Chips which was not a simple process – so I do have high standards. So I have high standards – but all I want is good ingredients cooked well – what I don’t is a soup which achieves something that was not was possible – a flavour that was both bland and unpleasant. Normally food can bland and disappointing but to be bland and be inedible is a feat that QF and Neil Perry should on some levels be proud of. I mean it is important to create new flavours – whether the pax enjoy them is a matter of “interpretation” – at least that I assume is what is driving the QF kitchens.

Hmm – I reckon that mayhap needed tags…but then the fact that the only wine choices were Riesling and chardonnay (I never realised that we were matching wines with the chef’s hairstyle) should also be factored into that soapbox. I think you are getting a “flavour” of my QF127 experience – the only redeeming feature being the staff who managed to make a not quite a silk purse out of a sows ear.

Frankly the after food, drink, AVOD (surprisingly it actually worked but after 60 mins of Superbad I felt soiled and we will never mention Invasion again – Nicole Kidman needs and agent that can get her roles that match her beauty and skill rather than suck every skerrick of brain matter from my … well from my brain – dear god Nicole please give me a reason to watch your movies that isn’t just the red hair) it is a very relieved simongr that steps off the aircraft and into the cool of Hong Kong. Few flights have ended in less joy recently – it felt like getting on a bus – a very expensive bus with a big sign saying “don’t speak to the driver”.

I hold in my hand the joy of flying – it has been sucked out of me and put in a less than 1L bag and decanted into 100ml bottles.