In other news, local resident George Man was found not responsible for a recent homicide. The Any County Coroner found that John Doe Serviceman died from injuries resulting from a miscommunication between G. Man, Mr. Man's finger, and the pistol's trigger.

Yesterday Mr. Serviceman's family apologized for their previous accusations of murder and accepted G. Man's explanation of breakdown of synaptic potential. G. Man has graciously decided to drop his libel suit against the Servicemans, contingent upon the Servicemans' agreement to a gag order.