I crave the indulgence of the board.

Death in the family. But at age 80, good innings, shots all round the ground, he'll be pleased with that etc. Sad, but like taxes and films starring Jeremy Irons, predictable and unavoidable.

My father, however, quite out of character, is talking about going to the funeral. He himself is not a well man, with pretty terrible back problems. Like me, he is also designed for comfort and neither speed nor Y. So, if he goes through with this it's going to mean my chaperoning him from MAN/LBA to SYD in J, minimum. Last minute, in January, with fares at their highest.

Although I'm well off in terms of miles both BA and BD they are, of course, quite useless in this case. Pricing it on ba.com looks about £12,750 for two. Ouch.

What would you recommend? He's not terribly mobile and I worry about long walks at LHR and the like, but those are probably unavoidable. We'd be starting in MAN or LBA so we'd have to connect somewhere, but I'd really like to keep it to a max of two connections. And, of course I'd prefer something that would earn miles on either OW or *A.

What about these crazy discounts offered by Trailfinders and Flight Centre and the like, for two people travelling in J? Or are they only 21/42 day advance purchase? They always seem to involve EK, TG or MH.

In my head, I had thought £3.5-4k a head might be doable. Am I way off?

Any suggestions gratefully received.