Then you need to be careful where you travel, else a rogue screener will pipe up with something like ''what's this thar place called Spain? Ain't that Mexico? Are there ter'rists there? Why you need to travel so darn much? Are you a ter'rist?"

For the record, I just smuggled my K-bag AND my Dove shampoo sample pack through FLL and LAX this past week without a flinch. Gotta love my dense-packed rolling duffel. I honestly don't think they can see anything past the first couple layers of 'stuff'.