Actually, he
is going places.
I passed a Subway franchise in Albany, Georgia on my way to a customer. The sign announced that Jared would be there at a specified time to make an appearance.
The next day, while waiting for my flight from Albany to Atlanta, he showed up in the gate area in a rather smug manner — toting his briefcase, talking on his cellular phone, as if he were some big celebrity. Nobody (to my knowledge) recognized him or approached him at any time.
We boarded the flight, which was a regional jet. He sat in an aisle seat in the first row. I sat a few rows back in an aisle seat on the other side of the aisle.
While observing him reading, his finger embarked on a journey towards its apparent final destination: his nose. The finger must have had an intense and insatiable curiosity as to what was hidden inside of his nose because he started digging up there as if it were
the Big Dig in Boston. All the while Jared was conspicuous and unashamed during his spontaneous treasure hunt. At least he could have tried to do it either privately or with a tissue or handkerchief!
I do not know if he ever struck gold that day as I could no longer watch, but I can say that every time I see a Subway commercial, I feel queasy because it always reminds me of him picking his nose.
If anyone ever does meet him, I would advise against shaking his hand for sanitary reasons.
This is some impression to give by someone who is supposed to be a compensated public spokesperson commercially endorsing a company whose primary business is to sell appetizing food.