"These are the spoils of the U.S. war on terror, surrendered by airline passengers who realize, as they’re going through security, that they can’t take certain toiletries and beverages on the plane with them."

Let's try that again:

"These are the spoils of the Communist Party's candyassed little war on liquids, the citizens of the United States, and guests in this nation. These spoils are stolen from passengers by actors working for little jackasses in Washington who don't understand basic chemistry."