Have your wife call and tell them that it's for a special birthday - it often works wonders. Visiting the restaurant in person a few days before also can work (they always have additional tables they can give you if they'd really want).

Many of the places mentioned are kind-a stuffy - the average age of patrons will be high, they'll all be in suits, and there won't be much in the way of music. If you want a place that's more fun I'd try Mr. Chows in Tribeca or uptown. I also like David Burke and Donatella (I believe on east 61st) - a burlesque affair with an interesting mix of patrons. I also feel JoJos (e 64th) is very nice and cozy (less formal) - though the tables are spaced very close together. In my view a slgihtly later reservation (8pm+) also translates into a more 'happening' crowd.