I completely sympathize with the OP. I mean come on, no one flies for status anymore! Frankly they should just make everyone Platinum, then everyone would get upgrades. Just last year, US Airways, being the cutting edge top notch airline it is, offered you the option to earn EQMs for purchases at SkyMall (20 miles per $ at FTD) Obviously buying 100,000 EQMs for $5,000 is the way to go!! I think its time DL starts following the practices of the top notch airline, US Airways!!

Until Delta gets with the times I recommend the OP go buy his status at US Airways, I'm sure he will be pleased, especially since he won't be flying them