Hi Marykatesmom, and welcome to the wonderful world of posting on FlyerTalk. Sorry that some of the responses are less than polite, and indeed in some cases could be called snotty, but as you probably know from your lurking, some of the active posters are rather rude. I trust you won't be when a "newby" posts her problem and you respond.

I can see your point. Here you are a member of the chain's loyalty program, and an elite (albeit at the entry level) with a good number of nights stayed, and people loyal to another chain's program who paid significantly less for their room get better treatment.

Unfortunately, that's what happens sometimes. There are humans involved, and (to quote an old saying) life isn't always fair. However, as one of the other posters pointed out, if your Romance Package did include an upgrade (some do), you have a legitimate gripe; but in many cases the person at the desk doesn't know what the particular promotion you're on entails, so you need to help them help you.

If your package included an upgrade, you have a valid complaint. Personally, I would suggest writing to the property General Manager as your best step right now, and limiting the complaint to the fact that your package called for an upgrade and you didn't get it. On the other hand, if you did get the upgrade when you were moved, I'd let it ride.

You might consider this a learning experience. I don't know how the transaction went at check-in, but what I do is always go to the Marriott Rewards area of reception (if there is one); always have your elite card out and give it to the desk clerk along with your credit card (after all, you'll want to be sure your number is in the record so your earnings will be credited); and if you're Gold or Platinum, or on a special promotion that includes an upgrade, ask "Did my upgrade come through?" rather than "Can I get an upgrade."

And always smile and be nice (as I'm sure you were). The other person's human, and may be having a bad day, and a smile could help reduce the stress.

The key thing is to help the other person help you. By handing over the Marriott Rewards card you're making it clear you're a loyalty program member without being pushy; by asking whether your upgrade came through (or "cleared") you're reminding the person that you are due an upgrade (if you are) which can cause him/her to double check your promotion or special package in case he has overlooked it. And finally, if you don't get what you think you were entitled to, you may ask politely, "I had understood I was supposed to get <whatever>. Was I mistaken?" (It's wise to take a printout of the confirmed reservation with you, of course; you might point to the pertinent part of the package description and say, "Isn't that what this means?")

If things go badly wrong, you can always ask to talk with the supervisor. Most mistakes are best resolved at the time rather than letting them fester; on the other hand, if the clerk looks as though he may become emotional, you can always call from your room to talk with the supervisor.

But one thing I've noticed about Marriotts is that the management really does want to try to resolve problems or misunderstandings when they happen. It's much easier to do then, and the "damage" is less since the customer doesn't stew on the problem. For that reason, if I have a problem I try to let the management solve it on the spot.

Sometimes it doesn't work, and for those cases you do need to resort to the letter to upper management in Salt Lake City or wherever, but in most cases it can be solved on the spot. Give it a chance.

I hope your next experience will be much better.