Denis Leary.

When humans decided to come up with an Endangered Species List, they figured the only fair way to do it was to hold an open tryout. One by one, the animals approached mankind for mercy.

“And what kind of animal are you?”

“I’m an otter.”

“And what do you do?”

“I float on my back in the water and do cute little human things with my hands.”

“Awwww. That’s great. OK, you’re free to go. Next! ... and what kind of animal are you?”

“I’m a cow.”

“No you’re not. You’re a hamburger. You’re a baseball glove. Now you and your buddies in the herd get in the back of the truck.”