I tip based on the service I receive. That means:

1. I don't tip anything for the empty chairs at my table.

2. I don't tip based on the most expensive meal on the menu even though I ordered a sandwich.

3. I don't tip on the dessert I didn't order or the cigar and cognac I didn't order as an alternative to dessert.

If I consumed a minimum of my servers time, talent and attention, I expect him or her to devote the time saved to his/her larger tables where the tip potential is greater. And oh yeah,

4. My tip is never based on how sorry I feel for the server. But I might give her more if she's young cute and flirty. Fact of life. Accept it.

I've worked for tips. Some days you work your ... off and get nada. Some other days a bluebird lands on your shoulder and tucks a c-note in your pocket. Over time it evens out. And in the end, you're dead anyway.