Well this is an interesting thread. Here is my 2 cents from someone in the industry. I would say they are cheap and the part about how the server appreciates them being nice versus leaving a big tip that is laughable. No server will ever remember a nice guy but a fat tipper will never be forgotten. I see it all the time and it works anywhere in the world. The ten dollars is fair I would have left twenty but thats me. The four dollars is an insult. Since I figure no one was going to expense this I would not expect anything more. I am sure they only spend big when it is on the company expense report.

The server should have worked harder to show you the door much sooner. Allowing you to hang out in her station during the whole lunch hour having a round of drinks is her faullt. I wouldn't worry to much about it because if she did not try to turn the table sooner shame on her for letting you camp out in her station.