I am on the floor, rolling around, laughing. One of you smartasss basstards went to all the trouble of looking up my employer's web site, finding the address (I'm assuming this is how you found me) and mailing me a box full of mustard pretzels along with a United lapel pin!

And with a metered stamp that has no geographic postmark to boot! I'd blame nancy, but my name is spelled correctly on the package.

Will the guilty party please stand up?