I am sorry for your experiences. Some airports, and some contractors, might be worse than others. THERE IS A CODE in the boarding system, youll get on the list for PAX with special needs, be it lap-kids, low-calorie meals etc etc. And you should be on this list, and Im sure you were. At OSL, the airport I work, the GA rarely page the pax. Sometimes, if we ask the pax to meet us at the gate 30 min before departures, I'll ask the gate attendant to page the pax. The airline pays for the wheelchair service, and if you didnt need one, that would save the airline some money. I am thinking thats the reason they tried to make you walk by yourself.

Also, when check-in calls us, Ill usually ask them to tell the pax, assuming no special needs with regards to scooters etc, to meet a wheelchair attendant 30-45 min before departure at the meeting point in the checkin hall, or outside our office, whatever closer to where they check in. If the family or whom ever youre traveling with, borrow a wheelchair, Ill ask if i should send someone to meet them at the gate. In a case like the one you describe, I would have told the skycap to tell you to meet an attendant at the meeting point 30-45 minutes before departures. And you would have known what was going to happen.

As a wheelchair attendant, I have about nothing I can say with regards to the security screening. If you can walk thru without touching the sides, I would let you. If not, well just take you on the side. Another thing the TSA probably know is that you might beep anyways, because of surgeries etc, or simply the fact youre not used to flying(Not in your case, of course, but elderly ladies often makes it necessary to do a secondary anyways... ). The most timesaving here would be to take you on the side and let them start. They also have to "sniff" the wheelchair for explosives.

With regards to being overweight, I CO-WROTE the quality system for assistance at my airport. You, as a wheelchair attendant, should NEVER make a pax feel youre working harder because of his or hers weight. Never. This includes heavy breath. On questions, you(still as the wheelchair attendant) should say that its just a matter of training. If help is needed, they should just call for help, not specify it over the radio as "a large person" or anything like that. If you want to tip, thats up to you. Im sure the attendant would appreciate it.

Waiting with a pax at the gate:
If its less than a 30 minute wait, and not a heavy workload that day, the attendant would wait with you. If its more than 30 minutes, the attendant will tell you that someone, and that might be another attendant, will come by and be with you about 20-30 minutes before scheduled departures. They should also make you aware that we can see all delays, and will adjust accordingly. The attendant will call his or her office, and they will update the file, and send someone out in time. If it is a heavy workload that day, we may ask the GA if they are able to push you down the jetway. They rarely do this. More common is that Ill let the attendant help with a "carry" on a nearby gate, as two persons are needed while lifting and carrying the pax out the plane. They will then come back and take care of you.

I am sure I could have commented on a lot more, but I have some wheelchairs to push! Gotta go to the airport...