*raises my hand* I am very interested! I'd love to be in charge of screening passengers, making sure that water gets thrown away... after all, the passengers aren't humans, they must be terrorists who use water as their weapon for power... and I'll ensure that bombs get past undetected, because, oh who in the heck would actually bring a bomb? Finally, I'll make sure every passenger feels hassled, because after all, they're stupid sheep who are guilty until I deem them innocent. Who cares about the stupid, worthless 1st and 4th amendment? THIS IS WAR TIME UNDER PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH and he is our LAEDER! Aye, our LADDER! Or was that leeder?

If you like what you see in my here short resume, then hire me right away... I can't wait to make America SAFER and less vulernable to Osma Bin Laden... er, wait, was that Al Queda?

Oh, and of course you'll see me tasering and stomping on anyone who dare speak against me... this is a dictatorship agency, right?

(You're hired, superior comrade!) Thank you! I can't wait until this afternoon - no background check? No screening for me? Higher pay if I'm seen torturing young kids who dared bring water guns? Seems like paradise to me!