I'm thinking of hiring a barker for my waiting room. It might help keep my patients in line. "Insurance cards out! Copay ready! Clothes off! Let's go! Move it!" I'm sure that my office will move far more efficiently.

This goes along with my plans to institute a SPOT program. If a patient looks unduly nervous or sweating, he or she gets a colonoscopy. Not to mention, "Sir please stand over here for continuous prostate examinations."