Day Fourteen:

We woke up at 6:45AM and finished up packing. We were done by around 7:15AM, and headed to breakfast. The weather today was nice compared to the two previous days, but it was still raining, unfortunately. After breakfast I took a quick shower and we were downstairs by 8:20AM. We quickly checked out and by 8:30AM were in a cab on our way to the airport. After a 30 minute $40AUD ride we were at the airport in the international terminal.

At SYD:

This was my first time at SYD for a departure and I was quite impressed. No, it’s no HKG or SIN, but it’s a pretty nice and modern airport. We headed to the departures monitor to find our flight and where NZ is located, and saw that it was in the “J” area. We headed over there and got in the Business line. There were two people in front of us and a bunch of people being helped, although three agents were not helping passengers. It took around 15 minutes till our turn came, due in part to the fact that they were just closing boarding for the flight to CHC. They took a lot of the last minute passengers and served them at the Business desk, which I was fine with.

We were eventually helped by a very friendly agent, who indicated that the Korean passengers in front of us in line just didn’t “get it.” They got to check-in just at the cutoff and they were a group of 12! The lady checked us in quickly and gave us the departure card to fill out, which almost became routine at this point. She told us where the lounge was located and gave us all our BP’s, and off we were! Much to my surprise she said that are UA FF numbers were in there so we could get miles, and the BP’s actually had numbers next to “Airpoints” instead of “NIL,” so let’s see what happens. Anyone know if this is normal?

We passed all the duty free shops and went to customs, where there was no line whatsoever. The agent was very friendly and noticed that it was my mom’s birthday, and directed us to security. Security was also incredibly painless- no removing shoes, jewelry, metal things, etc… just the liquids. We were through the whole process in around 10 minutes, which put us inside by around 9:30AM. My mom decided to do some duty free browsing while I wanted to do some lounge hopping, so we agreed to meet at a certain point around there.

I headed to the UA RCC, where they seemed shocked to see me. There was only one other party of two in there, and I just took some pics. The food selection was incredibly limited, as was the drink selection. The lounge was surprisingly huge for an airline like UA in SYD, and just kept going with all these separating cutoffs. The lounge also has computers, which seems atypical for UA, even at international locations. I left within around three minutes for obvious reasons.

I then met up with my mom and we headed upstairs towards the Singapore Silver Kris Lounge and Air New Zealand International Business Lounge. Since the SKL was first in order, I decided to give them a try. I went inside and showed my NZ boarding pass, and the agent rudely said “You are flying Air New Zealand. This is the Singapore Airlines Lounge.” I responded, “Well, I know that, but I am in international business and *Gold, both of which entitle me to use this lounge.” She responded once again quite snippily, “We are undergoing renovation so we are even sending most of OUR passengers to the Air New Zealand lounge.” Jeez, sorry for asking!

We then headed to the Air New Zealand lounge, which is only a few feet away. I have heard great things about this lounge, so had high expectations. We entered and saw no agent. We just entered the lounge area, which is where there was an agent sitting at the desk, who quickly let us in. I was shocked by how huge this lounge was. It was probably the biggest single room lounge I have seen. It had very nice interiors and a decent selection of food and drinks. I have to say that I was expecting a bit more as far as the food goes, since the domestic Koru Lounge at AKL had a much better selection. Another thing which irked me a bit is that the computers were really really bad. I couldn’t really get them to work, and there was no wireless in the lounge. The food selection was limited mostly to toast, some cake, fruit, yogurt, etc. The views were great nonetheless. It had a great view of the runway, where we could see all the heavies taking off, as well as a fantastic view of the tarmac, where we were right above two SQ 747’s.

We got bored and at around 10:50AM headed towards gate 56, which is where we would be leaving from. Next to us they were boarding the LAN flight to AKL with continuing service to SCL. At around 11:05AM they started boarding Star Alliance Gold and Business Class passengers, so we were among the first dozen aboard.

Sunday, June 10
NZ704
SYD-AKL
Aircraft: Airbus 320
Seat: 2F
Scheduled Departure Time: 11:30AM
Actual Departure Time: 11:33AM
Scheduled Arrival Time: 4:30PM
Actual Arrival Time: 4:35PM
Load: 100%C/80%Y

As we boarded the plane and showed our BP’s we were directed to our seats. I was immediately impressed by the immaculate condition of the cabin. The plane practically looked brand new, which may be the case. The Business Class section only had eight seats, most of which filled up within a few minutes. While the seats don’t have as much pitch as those on the 767, they are much more comfortable. They are fully padded, a comfortable leather, and even have legrests. I believe the pitch is 40 inches. Each seat has a pillow and blankets available on request. Within a minute of settling down our FA introduced himself to us and said he would be taking care of us, offering us drinks, which was a very nice touch. We both took water, which was promptly delivered. Once again there was pop-ish music playing on the PA, which always seems somewhat weird, but it was eventually switched to nature sounds, or whatever it was. Refills were offered, which we accepted.

By around 11:25AM the Captain came on the PA giving us the standard greeting, telling us that our flight time was 2hr45min and we would be cruising at 37,000 feet. He also said we would be closing our doors as soon as the last passenger arrived, and that we could expect a pretty bumpy ride. As we stood at the gate the safety video began, at the end of which our pushback began. We were just waiting for the United 747 to pull into the gate next to us, which looked absolutely massive from our perspective. At this point the FA came around asking for drink orders, and I went with a Diet Coke and my mom went with a Pinot Noir.

While the captain announced that it would be a short taxi to the runway, it had to be at least eight or so minutes to 16R. As we got there we taxied into position, held for around a minute, and off we were. We had a pretty bumpy climb, but the crew nonetheless began their service within a few minutes. There were a few announcements shortly after takeoff, including the coach meal choices, which were either a bacon sandwich or chicken pie, I believe. The first thing which was passed out were the portable DVD players in Business Class, which are essentially the same as they have on United Premium Service. The only difference is that there’s a bigger movie selection but you don’t get all the CD’s, but rather request the one you want. Our ISM set the whole DVD player up to the point that it started playing, and then handed it over. I went with Music and Lyrics, since I have seen most of the other movies and was simply not interested in some of them. The titles available, which were on a card in the seatpocket were:

Babel
Dreamgirls
Marie Antoinette
Gridiron Gang
All the Kings Men
Casino Royale
Stranger than Fiction
Eragon
Night at the Museum
Blood Diamond
Deja vu
Painted Veil
Music and Lyrics
Shrek 2
Ladykillers
One Hour Photo
Primeval- Episode 2
CSI NY
CSI: Miami
Prison Break

At this point hot towels were brought around and lunch service commenced. After the hot towel service, drinks were brought around, along with veggie chips. The menu read as follows:

Lunch

Starter
Bell pepper panna cotta with smoked kassler pork, micro cress and yoghurt dressing

Main Course
Grilled New Zealand beef fillet steak with gratin potato, green beans and bearnaise sauce
Kawakawa chicken Caesar salad with bacon, croutons, egg, parmesan cheese and Caesar dressing
Spicy New Zealand lamb wrap with capsicum, rocket, hummus and caponata in a soft flour tortilla

Dessert
Gourmet ice cream dessert of apple crumble and hokey pokey ice cream

Cheese
Fine regional cheese and preserved fruit

Beverages
Freshly brewed or decaffeinated coffee, tea, herbal tea or hot chocolate

Beverages

Spirits
Glenfiddich Malt Whisky
Chivas Regal Blended Whisky
Jack Daniel’s Black Label
Gordons Gin
42 Below Vodka
Courvoisier VSOP
Captain Morgan Rum
Ron Bacardi Superior

Port and Liqueurs
Portuguese Port
Grand Mariner
Bailey Irish Cream

Beer
A selection of beer featuring Steinlager, Export Gold, Heineken and low alcohol lager

Soft Drinks
Mineral water, orange juice, apple juice, tomato juice, cola, lemonade, tonic water, ginger ale and a choice of diabetic drinks are available

As the meal service began I was worried it would have the same issues as Premium Service Business, namely that it's difficult to have a tray and portable DVD player on your tray table at the same time. While I figured out that you can just put the DVD player under the tray on PS, that wasn’t an issue here. NZ purposely made their trays only take up half of the tray table so that there’s plenty of space for the DVD player- VERY smart!^

I wasn’t really a fan of the starter, personally, but it seemed to be good if you like that kind of food. The bread basket was also brought around at this point, which once again consisted of rolls, garlic bread, etc. Because the cabin is so small service is very personalized and plates are cleared immediately when finished. As soon as everyone was done the main course was brought around, and I saw earlier on the manifest that they have five of all three choice for eight people, so no one didn’t get their first choice!^ I decided to go with the beef, which was fantastic!

Once that was done the FA brought around the dessert cart, which consisted of ice cream, cheeses, and dessert liqueurs, of which I took ice cream. Again, NZ’s ice cream is simply amazing!^ Lastly, the coffee cart was brought around, which I passed on except for the amazing little mint chocolates in the golden foil that they have. Truly an amazing meal service for such a short flight!^

As the meal service finished we had some constant light turbulence, so the seatbelt sign was left on for a while, although they don’t really seem to enforce it. We began our approach into AKL at around 4:00PM, and landed at around 4:30PM. We quickly taxied to the gate, where we arrived five minutes late.

At AKL:

We almost retraced our footsteps from our arrival in AKL from LAX, but instead of heading towards customs we headed towards international transfers, where there was no line. It was a simple security checkpoint and everything could be left on!^ We were done with that by around 4:45PM, and back into the international terminal. We headed straight for the Air New Zealand International Business lounge, which was not all that crowded considering how many outbound flights there were. I caught up on some email, FT, etc., and worked a bit on my trip report for around two hours. The food selection was similar to last time, which was good but not great like in the Koru Lounges.

At this point my mom was at the computers, and there was an announcement made as follows: “Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Rachael and I will be the inflight service manager on NZ6 to LAX this evening. If anyone has anything they need to discuss with me please do so now as I will only be here for a few minutes.” I was quite impressed by the fact that she showed up at the lounge! I figured since it was my mom’s birthday I would see if there was anything she could do, so I went to talk to her. She said that she would recognize her aboard, which I thought was a nice touch!^

At around 6:50PM we headed down towards gate 10 for our departure. The boarding area was totally packed, since there was a flight to SFO and two flights to LAX! As we got near the gate there were two agents there checking passports and tickets, as well as initialing the boarding passes. It was around 6:55PM by the time we were done with that, and boarding commenced shortly thereafter. They started boarding only families with children under seven and disabled passengers, and after another three minutes Business, Star Gold, and Koru Club Gold.

Sunday, June 10
NZ006
AKL-LAX
Aircraft: 777-200
Seat: 6B
Scheduled Departure Time: 7:30PM
Actual Departure Time: 7:28PM
Scheduled Arrival Time: 12:40PM
Actual Arrival Time: 12:45PM
Load: 100%C/90%Y

Immediately upon boarding the ISM was standing at the door and when she saw me immediately said to my mother “I understand it’s your birthday today. Happy birthday!” Several other FA’s wished her a happy birthday, which was great. Our garment bag was immediately taken and we took the left turn to Business Premier. On the 777 Business Premier is in a 1-2-1 layout, and there are seven rows in total. Since the 747 is also 1-2-1 in the rear Business Premier cabin and is somewhat tight at that for a plane wider than the 777, it was clear that these seats were at a much greater forward angle.

I immediately stored my carry-ons, and as has become custom, snapped a few pictures of the cabin. Again I absolutely loved it and was impressed. As I took my seat I noticed that the menu, wine list, and amenity kit were already on the ottoman and the bottle of water was already next to the seat. Tonight’s selection was much more pleasing to me than what they had on my last flight, which I will get into more detail on in a bit.

As boarding continued the cabin pretty quickly filled up and pre-departure drinks were offered, of which I took water. My mother was seated in the row in front of me, and I really had to lean forward to talk to her, but it still seemed better than being across from one another. An older French couple settled into 7A & 7B, and surprisingly the wife was snapping quite a few pictures of her seat as well.

There was also a guy sitting across from me who I swore was a FAM, until I saw him sleeping the whole flight. I remember Kiwi Flyer telling me that until now the New Zealand govt. did not allow FAM's, but apparently that was changing. He had all the characteristics of a FAM, including just drinking water the whole flight, until he decided to sleep. Obviously I was embarrassed when I was bragging to my mom about my excellent FAM spotting skills, and was clearly wrong.

At around 7:25PM the captain came on the PA and announced that we would have a flight time of 12 hours and it should be a smooth ride. Just a minute later the door closed and the safety video commenced. As the safety video finished up we began our pushback and quick taxi to the runway. Rachael made her pre-takeoff announcements, which I thought were very professional both in her tone and her clarity.^ One FA was taking drink orders at this point, and took them until a few seconds before takeoff.

One of the cool things about the NZ Business Premier Seat is that you can have it any position you want during takeoff, instead of that stupid straight up position, which is fantastic!^ As we got to the runway we held in position, applied plenty of power, and released the brakes, rocketing down the runway.

We began a very slow climb, and it took around eight minutes for us to get to 10,000 feet. There was some light chop during takeoff, but nothing bad. As the seatbelt sign was turned off I quickly headed to the lavatory to change into PJ’s, which is the only way to fly on longhaul flights, IMO. As we continued our climb the ISM said she had turned on the entertainment system, but I could not get mine to work. I went to see her and she tried to reset it, unsuccessfully. Since it was not working for anyone at this point she called maintenance and they recommended that she reset the system, which would take 20 minutes. At that point the system started working, fortunately. She handled the whole issue very professionally, and everyone was very understanding.

About 25 minutes after takeoff, service started first with the immigration cards, followed by some hot towels, followed quickly by drinks, veggie chips, and tablecloths. At this point I decided to watch a movie, and decided to start the flight with I Think I Love My Wife, starring Chris Rock. At this point dinner service began, and the dinner menu read as follows:

Dinner

Starter
Manuka poached king prawns with fennel, baby curly endive, mango and dill dressing

Main Course
Roast fillet of New Zealand beef with a blue cheese and oxtail ravioli, steamed potatoes, green beans with hazelnuts and paprika tomato broth
Confit chicken thigh with currant and chicken mousse, herb butter, vine ripened tomato and mushroom rocket risotto
42 Below vodka marinated and caramelised salmon with asparagus, kaffir lime mash, citrus crème fraiche and watercress
Kawakawa butternut, mushroom and organic feta tart with tomato and red pepper compote and salad greens

Dessert
Gourmet dessert of lemon meringue pie ice cream and manuka honey chestnut ribbon ice cream with vanilla almond wafer
Apple and black doris plus tart with titoki liqueur cream

Cheese
A selection of fine New Zealand cheese

Beverages
Freshly brewed or decaffeinated coffee, tea, herbal tea or hot chocolate

Snacks
Help yourself from our range of snacks available for you to enjoy during your flight

Beverages

Spirits
Glenfiddich Malt Whisky
Chivas Regal Blended Whisky
Jack Daniel’s Black Label
Gordons Gin
42 Below Vodka
Courvoisier VSOP
Captain Morgan Rum
Ron Bacardi Superior

Port and Liqueurs
Portuguese Port
Grand Mariner
Bailey Irish Cream

Beer
A selection of beer featuring Steinlager, Export Gold, Heineken and low alcohol lager

Soft Drinks
Mineral water, orange juice, apple juice, tomato juice, cola, lemonade, tonic water, ginger ale and a choice of diabetic drinks are available

42 Below Cocktails
Refer to the cocktail selection at the back of your Air New Zealand Wine Guide for the 42 Below cocktails currently being showcased onboard.”[/I]

Sauvignon Blanc

Kaituna Valley
Malborough Sauvignon
Blanc - 2006

Saint Clair
Malborough Sauvignon
Blanc - 2006

Waipara Hills
Malborough Sauvignon
Blanc - 2006

Wither Hills
Malborough Sauvignon
Blanc - 2006

Chardonnay

Fiddler’s Green Waipara
Chardonnay - 2004

Staete Landt Vineyard
Chardonnay - 2004

Ngatarawa Silks
Chardonnay - 2005

Wither Hills
Chardonnay – 2004

Premium White Wines

Allan Scott Marlborough
Riesling - 2005

Trinity Hills
Hawke’s Bay Viognier - 2005

Waipara Hills
Pinot Gris – 2006

Pinot Noir

Highfield Estate
Pinot Noir - 2005

Nautilus Marlborough
Pinot Noir - 2005

Palliser Estate
Pinot Noir - 2004

West Brook Winery
Pinot Noir - 2005

Premium Red Wines

Craggy Range
Sophia Merlot/Cabernet Franc - 2004

Pegasus Bay
Merlot Cabarnet - 2003

Trinity Hills Hawke’s Bay
Tempranillo - 2005

Montana Reserve
Marlborough Merlot – 2004

Te Awa Winery
Hawke’s Bay Merlot - 2004

Vidal Estate
Syrah – 2004

Dessert Wines

Forrest Estate
Botrytised Riesling - 2005

Jackson Estate
Botrytis Riesling - 2006

The tray was quickly brought out with prawns as well as the breadbasket. The prawns were delicious, as was the rest of the starter. As soon as that was cleared the main courses were all brought out on a tray, of which I took the beef. Simply put, the main course was excellent!^ As soon as that was finished the tray was cleared and within another ten minutes dessert was brought out, which was the option between pie and ice cream. I went with the ice cream, the flavors of which I was not fond of. At this point the the ISM made an announcement that due to our turbulence coffee service would be postponed, but they would try their hardest to serve it ASAP. The captain also announced that he was talking to other aircraft and they were also experiencing turbulence, so we should expect it for the next two hours, which turned out to be true.

As the tablecloths were collected I reclined my seat to a comfortable position and finished my movie. It was pitch dark outside and the cabin lights were dimmed. It was clear that the older French couple behind me had not yet done NZ C and I noticed they were having trouble, so I helped them out a bit. The lady could not figure out how to turn off her reading light, which I also didn’t know how to do until Kiwi Flyer told me how, namely just stowing it in the flat position, so I helped her do that. Also, she couldn’t get her seat to fold over into the bed position, so I helped her out, which she appreciated.

At this point my movie was done and I went with Because I Said So, starring Mandy Moore. It was a decent airplane movie I guess, since I was running out of things to watch. During this time the FA’s set up the snacks on the table behind row seven on each side, which consisted of extra bottled water, granola bars, chocolate bars, etc. About half the cabin went to sleep after the meal service, but I was not tired yet. I have to add that I find the seat very nice for lounging, since you can recline somewhat and still have your feet on the ottoman with your knees bent.

As the movie finished up we had around eight hours left in the flight, so I kind of ran out of stuff to do. The turbulence had worn off at this point and I decided to watch some sitcoms. I watched an episode of The Simpsons, Everyone Hates Chris, and Malcolm In the Middle.

At this point I decided to stretch my legs and chatted with one of the FA’s in our aisle, who was fantastic. She said some interesting stuff about NZ, and I was especially surprised to hear how well Premium Economy is doing for NZ. Premium Economy basically gets Business Class service with an Economy Plus seat. On the 777 it is especially uncomfortable from what I could see, since the width is basically the same, still in a 3-3-3 configuration. It is located right behind the galley and is only two rows, but based on what I can see they charge ridiculous prices for it! She said it is expanding fleet wide, which is interesting. We talked about the industry in general, especially the issues with the US industry, and it was cool to hear her view on it. I was surprised to hear that the four pilots get three mini-breaks, instead of taking their breaks at once. This seems somewhat impractical for sleeping, since each break is less than 1.5 hours.

I also took a couple pictures of the bathroom, which have very nice floors and toothbrushes and lip balm available throughout the flight. As I went to the rear galley for a second for an extra bottle of water I noticed that the two FA’s were massaging each other, and this wasn’t just for five minutes, but for quite a while.

At this point I decided to try and get some sleep since I had a long day in Los Angeles upon arrival and didn’t want to go straight to bed since it was my mom’s birthday. I turned the seat into a bed, put down the comforter, grabbed an extra couple of pillows from the overhead bin, and put down the duvet. I tried my hardest to sleep but simply couldn’t. After 15 minutes I decided to prop the pillows against the back wall and “sit up in bed” to watch some TV. I watched a couple more sitcoms, and with a little over five hours left in the flight, decided I would sleep. I did manage to get some sleep, and was woken up by the cabin lights turning on 2hr5min before our arrival.

As I slowly regained consciousness I turned my bed back into a seat and prepared for breakfast. The breakfast menu read as follows:

Breakfast

Beverages
Start your day with a fruit smoothie, your choice of juice, freshly brewed or decaffeinated coffee, tea, herbal tea or hot chocolate

Fruit and Cereal
Fruit selection with assorted cereals and yoghurts

Bakery
Croissants, muffins, wholemeal and fruit toast with fruit conserve

Hot Breakfast
Smoked chicken pesto and parmesan omelette with breakfast potatoes and chicken sausage
Lemon curd ricotta cakes with yoghurt and pohutukawa honey cream and fresh strawberry compote

Within about five minutes tablecloths were laid out, and the drink cart was immediately brought out, which consisted of a variety of juices and smoothies. I went with a peach smoothie, which is a fantastic way to start the morning, and watched the sitcom After You've Gone. Shortly thereafter the fruit appetizer was brought out, which was served with a choice of cereals. I went with muesli, which was served with a small canister of milk. Also, coffee was offered, which I took with milk and sugar. Another thing which I have noticed on all my NZ flights is that the napkin with all the silverware is extremely hard to open. It is a little bow type thing, but I could never seem to untie it, so always had to go through the cumbersome process of getting it to either the top or bottom and sliding it off.

Another FA came around with the breadbasket. I went with a croissant, which I enjoyed with the strawberry jelly. Once that was finished and cleared the main courses were brought around, and I was asked which I wanted. The FA only had the omelette on her tray, but I asked for the “pancakes,” as she called them, and she said she would get it immediately. As everyone in Business had already been served at this point and she headed back to Premium Economy with the choices, I asked if she had forgotten me, and she laughed and immediately brought my choice to me.

As the meal service wrapped up and my tray was collected, which was around an hour before landing, the FA asked if I wanted anything else, and I asked for an OJ, which was never delivered.

Again it was an excellent meal service, but there was some level of personalization missing with the service. Maybe it’s just because the cabin is so compact, but there were very few coffee refills, which I don’t personally care about, but my mother does since she’s a coffee nut in the morning. Another thing which is impractical with NZ is that the tables seem to pop open all the time from people touching the button by mistake. I observed it all flight long, and it was at times pretty entertaining.

As we began our approach I noticed that many people were taking flash pictures of their seats, which even I don’t do. I have on no other airline seen that many people taking pictures, which of course I don’t mind. As we were around 100 miles out the captain said we were on our initial descent into LAX, and that we would be landing in around 20 minutes.

I changed back out of my PJ’s, restored all of my carry-ons, packed all the menus, wine lists, and amenity kits, and fastened my comfortable seatbelt as the seatbelt sign went on. The entertainment system was stopped, leaving only the Airshow, which showed us approaching LAX over Avalon, and then turning left base for a landing on 25R, I believe. We had a relatively long taxi to the gate, and as we approached the ISM announced that we would be towed to the gate, so even though we would stop we should stay seated. One guy got up, and she got on the PA saying “Would the gentlemen standing please take his seat.” As we reached the gate I retrieved my carry-ons and bid farwell to the wonderful crew.

At LAX:

As we disembarked and I took my last look at our NZ 777 we headed through the hideous terminal and began our immigration marathon, which was quite a haul. Fortunately there was essentially no line, and we got our turn immediately. There was an incredibly friendly (or is sarcasm not easy to convey over the internet?) agent who did not say a single word to us, even after saying me “Hi, how are you?” Home sweet home! As soon as that was done we headed to the baggage carousel, where it took around 20 minutes for our bags to show up. I noticed the four NZ pilots, to my surprise one of which was a captain, two of which were first officers, and one of which was a second officer? It is normal for NZ to only have one second officer instead of two, and one less first officer?

We headed outside into a very warm Los Angeles, and I immediately made a few phone calls. We took the shuttle to the Sheraton Gateway, where we were staying.

Day Fifteen:

After dropping everything off in the room we decided to ask the concierge what the best way is to get some exercise and see some of LA. He explained how spread out LA is, and highly recommended a tour of LA, which was in a mere five minutes! It was only $49 for over four hours, which was a great deal, especially since a cab to anywhere would essentially cost that!

We headed to the tour bus which was picking us up at the hotel, and I just had that “feeling,” which I know we have all experienced as FT’ers. Generally FT’ers like to be more self-exploring tourists, IME, and not feel like uber-tourists… boy did I feel like an uber-tourist! You know when you enter a shuttle bus with 20 people and everyone has a camera, a camcorder, and a Mickie Mouse hat? Well, now I do. The tour took us to Venice Beach, Century City, Beverly Hills, Hollywood, etc. The tour guide dropped us off in Venice Beach for 30 minutes, and let me tell you, nothing beats the feeling of walking out of a bus labeled “VIP Tours” with 20 tourists, and immediately mixing in with the locals… or not, for that matter. My first reaction was that I had no clue what continent we were in. What, this is the US? Simply shocking, I must say.

The tour was definitely good and showed us LA pretty well, I would think, so was a good experience, although I don’t have to return. LA, based on what I have seen, is either totally scary or completely overrun with tourists. I worked on my trip report and went to bed at around 11PM, with a wakeup call for 5:45AM.

At LAX:

We woke up at 5:45AM, which is usually earlier than I would to fly, but it was a Monday morning. We got ready and were at the airport by 6:30AM. We were dropped off at T7, and as we searched for elite check-in were surprised by how empty the terminal was. We were originally just going to do normal check-in since the lines were short, but we figured we had a lot of baggage and maybe the elite check-in would be a wee bit more lenient.

After waiting for about five minutes in the 1K check-in line we were helped by one of the nicest ladies I have dealt with at UA. Remember, I said nicest, not most efficient. As the check-in process continues, and it sure was a process, she explained just about everything that there was to explain to me, obviously with good intent. “Just so you know, you are flying a Boeing 777 to Washington, which is great for domestic flights. Also, you will have a nice breakfast.” “Here, let me check what your departure gate is this afternoon from IAD.” By the time she was done being nice there were about five 1K’s in line, so I felt bad. Don’t get me wrong, she had great intent and was incredibly friendly, but is all this kindness and explanation necessary for a 1K who you would think is one of your more frequent flyers? Either way, she was nice, and everytime I said “thanks you” she responded, “Oh no, thank YOU Mr. lucky for your loyalty.” Great lady!^

We headed to the elite security and were told to follow the red line, which seemed to be shorter. After waiting for only around five minutes, which seemed short for a Monday morning, it was our turn. Let me preface this by saying that I was going to make a “Kip Hawley is an idiot” freedom bag for this flight, but we were running awfully close and I didn’t want to do it with my mother around. Boy, did I wish I had it! Jeez, you give these TSA people a little bit of power, and wow, do they run away with it!” Believe it or not, folks, I’m not deaf, there’s no need to scream in my ear that I need to take my laptop out, I already know.

Anyway, after two weeks of fun security, it was a nice welcome home! We were through security by around 7AM and headed towards the gate, where the lines were already as long as ever.

Now, the following is more so a commentary on how I see our sad society, rather than the actual flights. I guess I am lucky that I fly mostly on the weekends without these self-important fools, but what I saw was simply astonishing. The red carpet was of course already full of people, obviously all equipped with their Bluetooth headsets so they look like they are talking to me, but they really aren’t. I always stand back, since I don’t like to associate myself much with “those” people. As they called boarding for C & F, and I slowly proceeded forward, there were of course a bunch of people behind me “EXCUSE ME, I am in Business, out of my way please.” As one saw that I wasn’t running at lightning speed towards the card reader but was walking towards it, he asked me “Excuse me, are you in First or Business?” I just nodded, and he sort of laid off a bit out of embarrassment.

Monday, June 11
UA946
LAX-IAD
Aircraft: Boeing 777-200
Seat: 9B
Scheduled Departure Time: 7:50AM
Actual Departure Time: 7:50AM
Scheduled Arrival Time: 3:27PM
Actual Arrival Time: 3:PM
Load: 100%F/98%C/100%Y

We headed to 9A & 9B and I stored our carry-ons, and we both took our seats. Pre-departure beverages were immediately offered with a smile. The total idiocy I was about to witness simply shocked me. First the guy in front of my mom essentially threw his coat at the FA, and the FA asked for the boarding stub with a smile. The guy aggressively responded “It’s somewhere in there!” The guy right in front of me was in his seat and really really leaned back against it. I also think he was messing a bit with the recline button. As the FA’s brought around the PDB drinks for him the conversation went as follows:

Man: “My seat is broken, someone needs to fix it now.”
FA: “What’s the problem with it, sir?”
Man “Can’t you see, it reclines all the way back, no matter what.”
FA: OK, let me get someone from maintenance.”

The way I post it does not do it justice. The way he said it was despicable. Not only wasn't his seat not reclining all the way, like I have seen before, but it was hardly moving. If he pushed really hard against it it would slowly go back, but not otherwise. I think he was also playing around with the recline switch. It was clear that he was eyeing the First Class seats. He made a total scene out of it, and instead of bringing the seat up when it reclined all the way he kept it reclined, just to try and prove a point. I couldn’t help but chuckle, and made eye contact with the FA that had to deal with him. I commented how sorry I feel that she has to deal with such jerks, and she asked if she could just hang out with us the whole flight.

As the maintenance guy came aboard the dialogue was as follows:

Maintenance: “So, you’re seat is broken?”
Man: “Uh, yeah”
Maintenance: “I aint think it’s broken. Why don’t you get up and I could give it a try.”

The man gets up, walking slightly into the F cabin looking for open seats, and the maintenance guy, who I should mention was really big, pushes against the seat as hard as he can. It doesn’t move, and he tries it again.

Maintenance: “I don’t see a problem with it, try sitting in it again.”

The man sits down and tries it again, and literally pushes against it as hard as he can, and it goes back ever so slightly.

Maintenance: “You know if there’s an empty seat on this plane you can move to?”
Man (very snippily): “I fly frequently and I haven’t seen an empty seat on a plane for over four years. I don’t care where I fly I just wanna get there!”
Maintenance: "Let me find out."
GA: “Here sir, we have another nice aisle seat for you in Business.”
Man: “Damn, I hate airplanes.”

Oh, I was so close to saying something to this guy, but decided to restrict myself so mother didn’t think I was psycho. It just amazes me! He doesn’t have the slightest manners, and I don’t think has ever heard of “thank you.” Congratulations sir!

Anyway, the flight was relatively uneventful. The captain announced a flight time of 4hr6min and an altitude of 37,000 feet. We quickly taxied to 25L, where we were quickly airborne. We had a French purser who had a REALLY strong accent, and was almost inaudible. Everytime he started the announcement he said “Ladies and XXX.” I had no clue what the second part was. Weird…

Breakfast orders were taken shortly after takeoff and were between a spinach quiche and fruit plate. We were the only ones in the mini-cabin that got our order taken the first time around, so it was clear he was going by status. It was obvious that more people wanted the quiche, and he did a fantastic job in preventing people not getting their first choice. Once he was running low on quiche he had excellent explanations on the fruit plate, adding that they come with cereal and the breadbasket. Very good idea!^ Breakfast service started with drinks, and was quickly followed by the food, which was excellent!^

I had either seen all the movies or actually wanted to save some for the other 60K miles I am flying in the next 45 days, so decided to only watch TV. There were four movies and five TV channels… is it just me, or didn’t UA used to have about seven movie channels and only two shows? Cost cutting? Either way, I watched Desperate Housewives for the first time ever! You have got to be kidding me! People actually watch this crap? Heck, I had to watch it twice just to make sure I saw correctly.

After watching TV I read Hemispheres and worked on my trip report. About an hour before landing snack mix was brought around, and the FA’s were the nicest I have experienced on UA in quite a while. Maybe it was because they knew I didn’t hate them, hate flying, and hate myself? They always served me with a smile, and were around every few minutes for refills. I thought I was on SQ for a moment!

It was at this point that I theorized why a lot of legacy carriers have some really bad FA’s, while most low cost carriers don’t. My theory is that because all the self-important jokes who think that they are some God’s because they fly Business or First, it is incredibly hard for the FA’s to deal with them. Sure bad service is never acceptable, but there are a lot less of these total jerks on WN or B6, IME.

As we approached IAD I was listening to Channel 9, and heard that our callsign was “United 946 Tango Heavy.” Now, I just asked a CFI friend of mine what that meant, and he said “Tango” usually means it’s a charter flight… anyone know the truth? I also heard UA914, which is the SFO-IAD flight, I believe, was “United 914 Lima Heavy." Strange, and would love to hear some explanations!

At IAD:

We arrived at IAD a bit early and headed straight to the C16 RCC. Surprisingly they let us in, since we were technically not on a same day Star Alliance international itinerary, and it was not a forced layover based on the schedule. I have never had an issue with it in the past, and was happy that the streak continued!^ When inside, an older lady gave me her two chits, which I saw that they have devalued as well, now printed on cheaper paper. We “enjoyed” the RCC for a while, and headed to the gate at around 4:10PM, since the flight was still showing on-time.

As we got to the gate I once again didn’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for one guy. While everyone else was sitting around, this guy was “locked” in the red carpet, standing there as if he were Ted King and the most excited person to "ride" Ted in history, and talking on his “Bluetooth.” Simply amazing… I gotta feel sorry for this guy, and think that the red carpet is the best thing that could have happened to his ego. I was thinking of something smart to say when I boarded, like “Wow, you must be really important, sir,” but decided against it.

The flight was delayed due to a late inbound aircraft, and only got in at 4:35. Nonetheless they managed a quick turnaround and we were boarding by 4:45PM.

Monday, June 11
UA1577 (Operated by Ted)
IAD-TPA
Aircraft: Airbus 320
Seat: 11D
Scheduled Departure Time: 4:50PM
Actual Departure Time: 5:11PM
Scheduled Arrival Time: 7:14PM
Actual Arrival Time: 7:27PM
Load: 100%

As I suspected he was sitting right across from me aboard, in 11C. We were fully boarded by around 5:05PM. Unfortunately some people were apparently incorrectly seated, so there was quite a bit of seat shuffling, especially between two NRSA’s.

After takeoff it was time for some Tedivision, which actually had a long interview with Shakira. There was some light chop for quite a bit of the ride, and the captain turned on the seatbelt sign a few times. The FA, who had a Mary hairpiece, said “Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the seatbelt sign due to moderate turbulence… under no conditions should you get up and make sure your seatbelt is securely fastened.” Moderate turbulence? Ok….

We got into TPA via rwy 36L and landed a bit late. We taxied to gate E75 and it was nice to finally have made it home. As much as I love flying, I had enough of it for a few days.

At TPA:

We headed to baggage claim, and I had to remember that I was flying UA, which means that a Priority Tag guarantees your bag to be LAST… how could I forget? We only made it out at around 8PM, and on my way home I was an inch from having an accident. PSA: Don’t fly and drive jetlagged!