My favorite, A kiwi flight about 3 years ago, the Lead FA was introducing the crew and said "My name is Ann, I'll be working the front of the cabin with Jill, in the back of the cabin is My husband Paul and Paul's girlfriend Diane"

And Sunday I heard the following at EWR:

Flight xxx to Fort Lauderdale is now closed, all passengers should already be onboard.

Gee, nice to get, a sorry you just missed your flight announcement.