Dear Ann,

I've had a long relationship with my airline - his name's United...in fact we've been together over 30 years! And he's taken me on some wonderful trips! But lately he's become unreliable, and he isn't treating me as well as he used to.

Like, United always used to pick me up himself when we had a date. But then he started sending other guys to MSN to take me the first part of the way. First it was someone named Air Whiskey - you can imagine how reliable he was - not! Half the time he stood me up! After that it was guys named Chautauqua and Mesa - I guess drifters from the East and out West - unfamiliar with Wisconsin, so late a lot. Then he sent Sky King, I mean Sky West. I like Sky a lot - he's friendly and dependable, but he doesn't seem to be available all that often.

Another thing, United promised me that if I kept going out with him, I'd ride in style in comfy seats with extra room. But then he makes me ride in something called a CRJ-200 or something like that, even for all-day trips! Don't even ask me what happens when I try to call him!

Ann, I've never played the (air)field, but now I just don't know....

Just sign me,
Faithful but forlorn