Just seen that we have a trip report section here as well. This I posted some time ago over at airliners, enjoy!
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SKY WARS - Episode 1: The Kiev Connection

Quick business trip to Kiev with a colleague. Saturday morning with OS and back Tuesday evening on PS.

My mate was nice, simple, and married to mere a hell than a woman. We shared the same office and same thoughts about our management but not much more. And thanks to my ex-wife, socializing for me was more a horizontal happening than exchanging the ever same wisdoms about business and women.

I had a vodka lemon as a starter as beer didn’t seem the right thing for a Saturday morning. Then communication with buddy begged for something harder too. Half of the lemon went first to avoid spoiling the questionable aroma of cheap Eristoff.

Staring at the lunchbox. Heaps of fresh exotic fruits along with a tiny spring roll and delicately spiced rice. Warm pieces of French baguette served with magic smiles by the most desirable women ever working the skies. Decent gestures and a shy question if all was satisfying will never leave my memories of flying Vietnam Airlines.

Well, but this was OS. Still staring at the lunch box. Buddy is already halfway through with what seems to be the leftover’s of a pathological examination. A slice of dark bread tightly sealed in plastic for eternity as side dish. I am thinking about swallowing that thing with the plastic. That way I would not have to taste it, my stomach would be fooled and it could be used again for the return leg.

Buddy is in good mood. He is done with the food and back into thriving accounts of his marriage. Only a small piece of dead egg still fights gravity by anxiously holding on to his beard. Hell and damnation to my ex-wife. 4 weeks of marriage are just not enough to have any relevant ammunition to fight back stories of kid gets teddy from mama and ....

Second vodka lemon is done. Going for the toilet to get a break. No, don’t forget what you wanted to tell me. I do need to hear the rest of the story of kiddie’s first blabla. 154 flights I have done without ever making use of the toilet for the big business. Now it’s the only way to get away for a quarter.

I am new to it. Like always with first times, you either are too quick or it doesn’t work. 20 minutes passed and all for - well. I get up and look down to the outcome and I was not impressed. Anyway, being a premiere at least it was a start. Next time i will try to hit the bowl.

I rearrange myself, get my hair done and prepare for pressing the flush button. I always do that at the last instant before leaving the building. I hit the button and frightfully wait for the terrifying vacuum. Woooosh. With apocalyptic power it sucks all loose objects into that tiny hole. Towels, papers get loose and disappear the same way as soap and deodorant. The vacuum rips my clothes and grabs after me. With last effort I escape through the half opened door carefully watching that no other passenger gets caught in that hazardous surge. Airplane toilets are the most frightening things in aviation.

Back into the seat and to avoid confusions he starts his kiddie account over again. Attentively looking the show down of FARGO comes to mind. Would that also work with airplane toilets? By the way, ever put the end of the toilet paper roll into the bowl before hitting the button?

The return leg.

Access to the lounge requires invitation. No problem for me. I try the best looking counter girl and my most charming smile. Doesn’t work. I ask again with a 10 dollar note in my hands and all is well. Hell, 10 dollars more and she might have joined. Clearing immigration buddy is back into family details. I need to take action now.

In the lounge I force him into a sort of drinking competition. Speed and amount are the criteria and before an hour has passed he is done. Thanks to my ex-wife I feel pretty good myself. Owning a desperate soul does have some advantages in the end.

Flight goes smooth. Buddy is peacefully snoring while I have all the time to admire the Ukrainian legs of the blondes working the aisles. If the 10 dollars would work as well up here in the night? Wouldn't be too much at all as membership fee for the mile high society. I have always been a serious and caring husband. At least for the 4 weeks I was married. I should not be blamed if my mind is entirely occupied with serious thoughts about screwing my way into business class.

Arrival hall. Pushing the cart with luggage and buddy through customs. I place him in a cab and tell the driver the address of a homosexual guy whom I know isn’t a friend of many words. Thinking about his wife, I do not feel bad at all. Don't know what became of him.