What's your best funny message from eCheck-in?

I have this right now on my screen when trying to eCheck-in at Hilton Garden Inn, Westbury:

<name>, since your upgrade was not available, we have selected the following room for you:

Room <number>
1 KING BED JR SUITE
NO-SMOKING ROOM; PULL OUT COUCH; SUITE; FLOOR <number>;

Well, if a junior suite isn't considered an upgrade, what would then an upgrade look like?

Note: <name> and <number> is my edit