I think your best bet duing the week is Liaisons on Renesselaer St. or Velocity over the weekends. Liaisons is like a gay Cheers(or Blakes in Atlanta) and Velocity is your typical high energy dance club.

I'm a Chicago native but have always found the Charlotte gay scene to be super friendly and charming. It is just a conservative city so the "scene" is not necessarily obvious but it does exist.

Go to 400 East Blvd for dinner. The place is crawling with gays and an excellent gift shop right down the street called Paper Skyscraper is also a lot of fun.