**gag**

I would have to be literally starving.... and the only thing edible I was able to find in all the dumpsters in a 5 mile radius was old asparagus.



BTW It's name is never spoken in our house, rather, when need to refer to It arises, we cautiously whisper "...the stalk of Satan..."

Don't believe me that asparagus is the fruit of the damned?
Just play a recording of any Michael Bolton song backwards and you can CLEARLY make out:
"Asparagus, yummy yummy asparagus"
and
"Vote Republican"

Plus it makes your pee stink.