CO Insider does NOT exist, at least not as a single entity. In fact, “CO Insider” is the handle for 76 7-fingered alien descendants of the original survivors of the Roswell saucer crash of July of ’47. Hidden 737 feet below CO’s main headquarters, these creatures toil away answering our every question, lest they not receive their daily ration of stale pretzels (a delicacy on Kelnerax, their home planet). But as space aliens go, they’re a great bunch.

People wrongly believe CO Insider is real because, they trot out a robot made to look like a real human being. “Handsome,” to hear the statuesque Mrs. RNE tell it. But, if you look closely into his baby blues, you’ll see the electrodes flashing away in a positronic brain. I try to keep the missus away from those Svengali peepers m’self. I suggest you do too.