"Most Provenly Safe Airplanes Flown by Northwest" --

The Federal Averation Administration today released statistics proving that the safest airplanes in the sky are flown by Northwest Airlines.

"These airplanes have proved by their repeated safe flights that they are demonstrably the safest airplanes in the air today," averred spokesperson Miles Argood of the FAA.

"I am convinced that older airplanes are the best in proving their resilience and profitability," said Justin Case of the American Association of Reflyered People. "AARP is happy to see older planes in service."

Soznoproblem, right?

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"It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity..."