This morning I got into MIA at 5AM. I was there early to see if I could get on the airport upgrade list.

5AM. There shouldn't be any line, right? I turn the corner and what do I see? A line with about 50 people in it and exactly one lane open. So, there I am fuming because chances are, by the time I get through security and on the list someone will be ahead of me. I woke up at 4AM for nothing.

The line snakes along and then suddenly a screener appears. He tries to hand me a yellow card saying "hey, can you hold onto this and bring it up to the "officer" at the detector?" I say no. He says "But you have to." I said "I'm not doing the TSA any favors this morning." He grunts and walks.

I did get my upgrade, though. But, in retrospect I think I should've taken the card from the screener, and then taken it with me on my flight so that the airline could know how long the flight took. I mean, they have to be at least as interested in time of flight as the the TSA is in queuing time, right?