MINE:

Flying UA from ORD-HNL (going home for Christmas), circa 1986. Sitting in an aisle seat in Y, hoping no one is assigned to the window seat. Wrong. Rather large dude comes down the aisle, carrying all manner of papers, carry-ons, etc. He jams himself into his seat and spills over into mine. The highlight of the flight: during meal service, he points to my dessert and asks, "are you gonna eat that?" Let's just say that I lost my appetite.

MY WIFE'S:

Flying in-country on British Caledonia, circa 1988. The following conversation occurs during the beverage service:

FA: "What would you like to drink?"
Wife: "May I have some water?"
FA: "No."
Wife (confused): "Huh?"
FA: "No."
Wife: "May I ask why?"
FA: "We need all the water we have."

To this day, she doesn't understand what the FA meant.