Two quotes from the captain.
One I've experienced in Russia. "For those of you who have seat belts, now would be a good time to fasten them" And I didn't have one.
Secondly, as seen recently on a TV reconstruction re BA 009.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress."
It would be difficult to top that.