Hmm, now I'm wondering what an airline would have to do to a passenger in order to make 2 systemwide first-class tickets a reasonable compensation.

I think it'd have to involve non-permanent but painful bodily injury caused by a member of the flight crew doing something extremely inappropriate.

Say, a FA or pilot decking you for no good reason causing a broken nose which had to be re-set by a doctor (but causing no permanent damage or scars).