Sorry for your loss.

It's little consolation, but you should receive points for the amount paid:

5.6. Starpoints can be earned on charges for no-shows and early departure fees, less taxes and service charges; however, these earnings will not count as an Eligible Stay or Eligible Night towards elite levels of Membership or for threshold bonuses and promotions.

http://www.starwoodhotels.com/prefer...onditions.html

If you will be rescheduling the trip, and if you feel up to it, you might call the hotel during normal business hours, explain the circumstances, and ask if you could apply the payment to another date. They may not be able to do this, but inasmuch as you are giving them time to resell the room it just might work.