Brilliant!, Wonderful!

But you left these out...



If Hertz made toasters...
All of the toast would be perfect but a bit more expensive.

If Avis made toasters...
All of the toast would obsess about trying to be as good as the perfect toast.

If National made toasters...
You could put plain white bread in the toaster and usually have it come out OK, but if you ever tried to toast something a little different (wheat, a bagel, etc) you'd have to wait on a line instead of going right to the toaster, and the wrong bread would always come out (put in rye, bagel would come out). In addition, there would be days when all they had was crackers and 10 foot hero rolls.


If Alamo made toasters...
They would always be on sale, but more than half of the time the bread would disappear after you put it in regardless of their promise to toast it. You'd have to stand on long lines for a long time to try to get it back toasted, and would be happy if they had even a cracker for you, but usually their pantry is empty. Many times, while waiting for the toast to come out, you wind-up berating yourself for buying such a cheap toaster. 25% of people who bought Alamo toasters will buy a more expensive brand while waiting on line for their toast to come out.