If American Airlines made toasters...
It would stop toasting if you purchased any other appliances that toasted things.

If United Airlines or Delta Airlines made toasters...
It would only toast very small pieces of bread.

If Southwest Airlines made toasters...
It would require you to number your slices of bread and toast them in numerical order. It would also require that several slices be toasted backwards.

If Continental Airlines made toasters...
They would be very popular with people who toast a lot. They would get extra toast not only from Continental's toasters but from Northwest's and America West's toasters also.

If Midwest Express made toasters....
All the bread slots would be extra wide.

If Virgin Atlantic made toasters...
It would take you to the store to buy the bread.

If Hilton made toasters...
It would make toast and bacon and eggs at the same time.
You would also be able to exchange your bread for croissants and bagels.

If Amex made toasters...
It would be a very good toaster, but wouldn't work in all kitchens

If Diner's Club made toasters...
You'd be able to exchange your toast for bagels.
Once a year they would give you a few extra bagels when exchanging toast.

If Singapore Airlines made toasters...
It would butter the toast for you.

If Marriott made toasters...
They'd have one model for people who toast bread. One model for people who toast bagels and a third for people who toast croissants.

If Randy Peterson made toasters...
They would give everyone free bread for using them.

If Freddie Laker Made toasters...
Toast would cost a lot less.

If David Fisher made toasters....
They would tell you where on the Internet to get free bread.

If Zen and Andy made toasters...
They would promise a bakery if you got people to use their toasters. End up only giving you a few crumbs and then stop working altogether.

If Arturo made toasters....
You'd throw the toaster out the window.

If British Airways or Air France made toasters...
They would toast faster than any other toaster, but make a ton more noise.

If TWA made toasters....
One or more parts of the toaster would stop working just before breakfast time.

If La Quinta made toasters...
You'd get an extra slice of toast after every 12 slices toasted.

If Eastern Airlines made toasters....
They would have stopped working years ago.