I agree - stay away from Times Square.

The W on Union Sq. is nice and the W on 39th and Lexington is also nice.

St. Regis is great if it's in your budget.

For a romantic birthday dinner:

One if my land, Two if by Sea
Bouley
Chanterelle
Cafe des Artistes


Get show tickets ahead of time. You'll pay alot extra through hotel concierge for last minute seats.