As I've just noticed CO 1E's last post, I'm going to go a bit easier on him than I'd planned . CO 1E's statement that "No one ever has to fly with an infant" (and that's a direct quote) is just not true. As an EU-US litigator with offices in Texas and Paris, there are times when it IS absolutely necessary for family reasons for babies to travel, even TATL.

My four sons are now 2, 4, 6, and 8 - but even the youngest needs to go back-and-forth a lot. All of our family is in Paris with the exception of one set of grandparents in Dallas. And sudden illness and even deaths in the family DO, in fact, necessitate the little one going overseas. This is especially true when Mrs. LawFlyer and I are on different continents. We try to keep the kids' travel to a minimum, even though that increases the travel burden on us, but we are certainly prepared to do that, and we DO precisely that. But -- with very dear family in both Paris and Dallas, and with my job HQ'd in both places, the infant "must" travel if the entire family is to stay together.

And yes, I think that my family merely "being together" is a "must" that is not negotiable, and our desire to raise our sons with deep relationships to their loved ones on both sides of the Atlantic means that YES, even the young ones must fly. It is not always practical for the older relatives to fly acorss the ocean due to a myriad of concerns, though that is ONE way to reduce the travel for the young ones (which we use).

As for the OP re: changing the diaper in the PC, this is disgusting. I just posted on this topic (sort of) in another thread today ("Children in the PC" or something like that was the thread title). I cannot comment on the OP's method of handling it because I wasn't there and didn't actually hear or watch what happened. Whether something was passive-aggressive (as was suggested) or appropriate (which some think it was) is difficult to say without being there. So -- let's look at the behavior itself:

Those parents should NEVER have done that. In all my flying time (and heaven knows there's been a lot of it when the 6 and 8 year-olds are CO PLAT!), I have NEVER changed a diaper on an airplane seat, in the open PC, or in the open terminal. I have ALWAYS used a restroom to do that, with no question. Sure, I've been tempted, especially when traveling without Mrs. LawFlyer and with the other 3 boys!! But always trumping such temptation are the concerns raised here: it can be unhealthy for other passengers (the elderly, the immunocompromised, etc.), AND it is simply unsightly and, at times, foul to smell.

I have no right as a parent to subject others to such things. And this brings me to interesting comments by the subsequent posters above:

ElkeNorEast says, "There is a weird attitude these days that you should be able to do anything you want. . .so long as it pertains to a baby." I totally understand what ElkeNorEast means. And it is bizarre, isn't it! It's as if it has become politically incorrect to ask someone to do ANYTHING in connection with their children. But for my part, if one of my sons is doing something that is really annoying someone, I want to know about it so that I can fix it. But here's one extreme example that blew my mind:

My 6-year-old was contendly coloring in his drawing pad at the IAH PC on our way to CDG last month. A guy about my age in the chair behind my son suddenly flipped around, stood up, and yelled at me, "Would you PUH-LEEZE tell your dumb kid to stop scribbling on that paper! That scratching sound is driving me crazy! SH*T dude!"

Uh -- let's see -- Aside from the fact that it scared my son to death (why wouldn't it!?), I found this guy's request completely unreasonable. If he thinks that the sound of a CRAYON drawing on ART PAPER in the hands of a 6 YEAR OLD BOY is unacceptable, then I would suggest that this man has MANY more problems than I could solve by taking my sons colors away. I stood up calmly, and I said as politely as I could, "My son is not dumb, and you should apologize both for calling him 'dumb' and for cursing so rudely around him with that language. He will continue coloring as he pleases, sir, and if you raise your voice again at him or at me, I will call security."

I guess he was so FLABBERGASTED by what I said, and that I'd said it so quietly and calmly, that he just packed up his stuff and left. So I do not ALWAYS come down on the side of the "inconvenienced bystander without children" because sometimes what they perceive as an annoyance is totally illegitimate.

To the contrary, if the kids are running around, or are being loud, or anything else, I take appropriate steps to stop it. And here's my best weapon for avoiding whiny kids: I never whine to them or around them. Sounds simple, but it sure works! And this brings me right up to Otralot's post.

Otralot said, "Traveling is a public experience. Last I checked, kids were part of the public."

How true! That seems to be the thing we often forget! Modern air transportation is NOT the domain of a specific class, and no one gets to set up private-club rules that suit only them. Having said that, we all must do our best (or *should* do our best) to remain civil, helpful, and positive in situations -- such as longhaul air travel -- that can be trying even under the BEST of circumstances. To me, this would include changing my babies in the restroom, not in the middle of the PC. THAT is best for all the other passengers' health and comfort, gives them a more pleasant day, and helps me ensure consistency of expectations with my own children.

HOWEVER, that doesn't mean I cannot BRING my baby and other sons into the PC. There's a big difference! The PC, too, is part of public travel, even though we pay extra for membership. If CO wanted to ban children and babies from its domain (which some posters, I think, would be happy to see), then CO can do so at its peril, because I think it would lose a lot of revenue in those PC's by doing so.

I guess that brings me to Thaliajen's post at #21. I was actually quite moved by what she wrote, and I think we could use more of those kinds of posts: honest, sincere, authentic, and meaningful. The slightest change of perspective her post brought to the discussion was helpful, I think. I hope she does not take it as superficial when I say that I, too, am so sorry for her loss; I cannot imagine what that must be like. I can only promise her that her situation is NOT lost on me, and I appreciate my 4 sons all the more by virtue of her sharing her story.

Bottom line? Of COURSE, there should be NO DIAPERS CHANGED in the middle of the PC, or the terminal, or the aircraft, or anywhere like that! And we parents have a heightened burden when traveling to ensure that others are not inconvenienced by the kids we bring along. HOWEVER, when encountering even well-behaved children, I would politely suggest that travelers WITHOUT children (and even those who disllike children) could possibly have an extra measure of grace and kindness for someone who might need it. Is that EVER out of order?

Et in terra pax,
LawFlyer