based on my experience, i would like them to pull ALL the pax that crowd around the gate making it hard to tell where the line is. last week in DFW it was worse than ever.

the scene: a typical calm peaceful gate. cnn is unavoidably blaring from the tv sets, six high-powered executives with huge pot bellies are shouting into their cell-phones, unaware that the microphone technology could pick up a whisper, and 17 college-age girls, obviously traveling as part of a sports team, are sitting around hugging their pillows to their chests and giggling.

PA Announcement: Ladies and Gentleman, at this time we will momentarily begin boarding flight 666 which will go sit on the tarmac for two hours until you all pee your pants. At this time we would like to board our first class cabin ONLY. we will be boarding by group number, so at this time, look at your boarding pass for a really big number. at this time...."

the scene: a couple of pax in F begin their stroll to the door to board. behind them they hear a dull roar. it is a sinister mix of shuffling, thumping roll-a-boards, whining kids, and insipid cell-phone chatter. before they can do anything, the entire group of pax has engulfed the gate doorway, leaving a 15-foot radius clear of people around the ticket taking gate agent. anyone wishing to board must somehow cross this moat of humanity.

remaining F pax must somehow burrow through the scrum to reach the gate agent. later group 1 pax must do the same. eventually the group 3 and 4 folks board, and stand and spin in the aisle like pigs on a spit as they look for an overhead bin space. (hint, row 45)

the solution: anyone who tries to "budge" or sneak up to the gate early, gets yanked for a BCS, and i ain't talking about football baby!