Here's my second story, it's from 2004:

When going to Vegas we flew out of the Columbus, Ohio Airport. Apparently to the TSA morrons in Columbus fat people are a security risk.

So walked through the gate, it went off, again. (you might remember my other run in with the TSA) I was wearing a stretchy longer skirt, with a plastic zipper, a sweater... no bra trying to avoid being scanning and groped again) and my birkenstocks, which prolly set the machine off. (I remove them for scanning now)

So I pop the shoes off, but that's not enough I guess, so they pull me into the little half enclosed (in clear glass) little fondling, er, "examination" zone to do a wanding by a very terse ....., er.. officer.

Now immediately they start scanning me from the waist down. I have to take a large step forward with one leg then the other, then they proceed to poke (not wave) the wand in all the places where body parts meet through the skirt. I mean they PUSHED this wand into my fat. Taking the end and following all my folds (I'm a big girl) and creavices and PUSHING it in them. Like poking the Pillsbury doughboy.

I realize I'm having my first lesbian experience right in front of my husband and 100 strangers.

The whole time I have to stand with my feet as they ordered them and my arms out to the side, even though they aren't checking me above the waist.

When they jabbed it in my crotch, and I mean IN, I got a little testy with them. I admit it. But they never once even offered a sympathetic word or glance. They just growled and kept poking me.

Angry, I started to pull my skirt up to just above the knee thinking it would help speed this up. Immediately I'm rushed like I'm trying to whip out a gun.

"No one wants to see that ma'am! Do you want us to pull you into a private room for a full check?" she clearly threatened snarling at me. "Do you want that?"

"No, What I want is you to stop shoving that in my crotch."

Supervisor now steps up, "I was watching, she did not stick-"

"Yes. She did. Believe me. It's not YOUR crotch, it's mine." I snapped, now surrounded.

"We don't have any good way to check skirts." One snapped back at me and began probing me again.

"Well I guess I don't have any rights to privacy either."

They finally finish. Mr Man got tagged too, seems he forgot he had his cell phone in his pocket... he got no ball juggling, no butt crack probe. That would have been the same thing as I got.

I get my stuff around the corner, Mr Man scolds me for arguing with the feds. I told him if they'd jabbed it in his balls he certainly would have said something too and where they jabbed ME was a very sensitive place shall we say. And it being done in it the open on display in a glass cubicle in the middle of the concourse as people get their stuff off the belt might have been offensive to him as well. I was just about sexually assaulted.

So, we go to our gate. Sitting across from me is a young, skinny college girl going to Vegas on our flight with some of her friends. She was was wearing a skirt, one longer than mine.

I caught her eye. "Did you have any problems getting through the checkpoint in that skirt?"

"No! I walked right through. Why did you have a problem?" she asked concerned.

"Yeah they just about crawled up my crotch with a K9 team."

"Oh my god are you serious?"

"Yeah. Thanks I was just curious if you had trouble I didn't think so. You're not fat."

Yup, I think it was because I was fat.

They were intent on seeing if I had anything hidden in my folds, like guns I guess. I dunno. I hear drug guys use fat women to smuggle drugs in thier "folds" etc... i would have preferred a drug dog to sniff me, he couldn't have got his nose that far up my crotch as she got that wand.

Now I was MAD MAD MAD about this one, and DID contact the TSA head at the airport with a phone call, he said he'd review the tape, got my flight number and junk and said th at they aren't supposed to touch you with the wands. I told him not only did they touch me they poked and PROBED ME with them. I got an apology and it did sound genuine at least as she said he'd investigate it. I've heard nothing since, but maybe I got Helga fired, who knows.