I've been most disappointed with The Palm in LA (so bad I'm unlikely to try another Palm) and Manny's in Minneapolis.

I largely find that if you go to any of the high-end places, the steak is likely to be delicious, and almost everyone has a wine list adequate for my tastes. Therefore, I often find that the appetizers, salads, sides, and desserts really make or break the place, and separate the good from the excellent. Places that have salads/apps/sides/desserts that I crave get my vote. To that end, my top 3 steakhouses are Dickie Brennan's, Del Friscos, and Emerli's Delmonico. Delmonico might be my favorite -- get the mushroom and tasso ham pasta appetizer (when they have it -- otherwise the New Orleans style BBQ shrimp is excellent; the spinach salad with warm bacon dressing, fried mozarella, etc.; the truffle/parmesan chips; and the banana foster ice cream pie. Oh, and a bone-in ribeye.