Air France check in agents and gate agents who both think they need to take the ticket off me (one of the many reasons I've avoided CDG ever since).

The annoying t*** in a white suit at AMS last year who thought it would be a good idea to discipline his young son by giving him a wedgie. The poor gate agents (and just about everyone else in the lounge) didn't know where to look.

Travelling with colleagues who can't come to terms with the fact that I travel my way (and am quite happy for it, thankyou very much). When travelling with colleagues, I try to get myself on a different flight.

One particular colleague who insists on getting paralytic on red wine in the lounge and then asks the lounge dragon if she'll marry him.

The other colleague who thinks my travel routine is a bit anal (yeah, right; that's why I'm more or less happy and well adjusted when I reach my destination while you are thoroughly p***ed off).

The check in staff at NAN who take a gold card to mean "treat as beneath contempt" (to be fare, I think they considering going on another strike that day).

Check in staff who insist on opening a desk exactly two hours before the flight, destroying valuable G&T time in the lounge.

The baggage handlers at MAN who treat any piece of baggage with a priority tag as if the owner is beneath their contempt.

Having the explain to the security guy at LAX who is barking at me to take my shoes off while I'm taking the laptop out of the case that I am in fact human, have two arms and two legs, can juggle a fair few things at once in my mind but can in fact only do one of them at a time.

The TSA agent who shouted at me for trying to be well organised and have my shoes off and the laptop out of the bag before I got the security point.

The taxi driver at LAX who complains because I want to go to an airport hotel but don't want to use the hotel shuttle that, in my experience, takes forever to turn up. I wouldn't mind but I'm absolutely prepared to hand these people a 20 and say "keep the change".

Oh, and last and by all means least, the charity worker at LAX who recently discovered that the forthright "past you or through you" walk I use when exiting T2 means exactly that.