It depends on what you're looking for in a romantic weekend, where you're flying in and out of (or driving from), and what you're looking to do (as mentioned by one of the posters above).

I've stayed at and eaten (several times) at The Aerie, stayed and eaten at the Sooke Harbour House, and eaten at the Wickanninish Inn. They're 3 excellent but quite different properties.

Firstly, Tofino is not just a little drive from Victoria - it's at least 4 hours, partly on some mountain roads. The drive is stunning, but it isn't a short jaunt there and back. I really liked the restaurant at Wickanninish and I love Long Beach, but it definitely does have the "luxury nature lodge" feel (which I like) and is very Pacific Northwest. If you want long romantic sunset walks on the beach and browsing in craft shops in Tofino (or surfing and a zodiac ride to the hot springs, if you're more adventurous), and don't mind the drive, it would be great.

Sooke Harbour House reminded me more of a New England seaside inn (but a luxury inn). The restaurant is fantastic, with almost everything made from local ingredients. The dining room isn't stuffy or formal, though, so if you're looking for something more elegant, this isn't it. The food is the star, and for good reasons - it's spectacular. Go for a walk in the gardens before or after dinner. Rooms are comfortable and well-appointed, but vary in size and set up. The views over the Strait are amazing, and it is about 45 min outside of Victoria, so you can go into town for shopping, touristy things, etc. If you want the beach experience without the drive to Tofino, head to one of the parks near Sooke or out to Botanical Beach for a picnic and tidepooling.

The Aerie struck me more as a villa-style resort and the European influence was noticable. The dining room is very elegant and the food excellent and refined. I've found that the service is good, without being stuffy. The rooms can be small (depending on what you reserve), but are well-equipped and very comfortable. It is on a mountainside just outside Victoria (again, about 45 minutes in a different direction) and views are of the inlet between the Saanich Peninsula and the rest of the Island. Drives from here include just up the road to the Cowichan Valley wine country and back into Victoria.

Depends on what you want, but I don't think you can go too far wrong with any one of the three.

Sorry about the long post - hope it's helpful. Now I'm daydreaming about a weekend on the Island...