Fabulous free food will be re-introduced and served on repeatedly recycled paper plates. It will be surplus selections (no choice) of MRE's in F/C and K rations in coach will be offered. All passenger seat belts will lock upon pushback and will not unlock until aircraft door is opened at the destination gate. No powders, liquids, aerosols, or other consumables will be allowed on board.

Free especially-made-for-in-air-watching 5 star patriotic Hollywood movies will be shown on a pull down screen located in the exact rear of the aircraft. It will be broadcast in 3 similtanous languages over the PA system. It is assumed anyone who watches the movie will quickly get a really painful stiff neck and thus could not cause any trouble. Those who dont watch it will be immediately handcuffed by the FA's so they dont cause any trouble either. The Sky Marshals will then identify themselves and handcuff the FA's and eat their choice of any remaining MRE's. They will soon become too fat to fit through the cockpit door so they could not ever hijack an airplane.

Did I forget anybody?

MisterNice