Special "Second class" area:

In the overhead compartment, or underneath the seat in front of you.

I can see the day where PAX are forced to stand on the little baggage scale when checking in, and pay a "fuel consumption surcharge" per pound.

I can see the list of various undisclosed surcharges growing- see hotel chains.

"Toilet paper surchage- $.50 per sheet. Water charge, per flush, and per second of flow from sink, say .20 per ounce." This can be taken care of by simply swiping your credit card at the door. This can also pay for the $.50 per minute charge for lavatory occupancy for those that go in there and don't use the faciltities- you know- to change their baby, do a few lines, or get to know fellow passenger or crew members just a little better."

I also think that free drinks of any sort will be a thing of the past. OJ- $3. Coke $3. Plus, the $3 delivery charge. Plus the $25% gratuity. Plus the "tip line". Nuts and pretzels will be only $1.50 a bag. Plus, of course, the appropriate charges.

All of these changes will of course be referred to as "enhancements."

And, of course, there changes will be referred to as "enhacements".

Finally, I see the Administration proposing a "Federal Aviation Saving Act of 2002." Because all dissenters in the new America are summarily dismissed as "traitors" in defense of "liberty", this bill passes the House and Senate 430-2, and 98-1 respectively. This bill will simply provide an antitrust exemption for the airlines. Soon, a virtual monopoly of over certain routes will become an actual monopoly. If you want to fly LAX-SFO- UAL's your choice. MSP-DEN, you go NWA, my friend. And fares-they go way up - for the good of America.

And you, the consumer- you go to .....