Yes, I know that you can't fly MXP-LUG. By the time the plane would reach the end of the runway in Milan it would hit the start of the airport in Lugano.

But I never said that this was a trip by air. The transportation involved a car, a trolley, and a lot of walking.

I did, however, earn a bunch of Starwood Points in Lugano, which is not bad when you consider the fact that it has no Starwood hotel and I got a 500 point bonus in Milan -- but that comes later in this tale.

The whole thing began when I decided to escape the heat in Israel and flew to be with my UIG (Used Italian Girlfriend) in Milan. Little did I know that Milan was even hotter than Tel Aviv and after two days the UIG informed me that we were getting into her car and going to her vacation home in Lugano.

Lugano! That means Switzerland. Alpine peaks and cool days with chilly nights. It sounded wonderful.

"Sounded" is the key word there. For some reason, Lugano was even hotter than Milan with temperatures easily topping 90 F.

This was on Thursday. On Saturday, the temperature at the UIG's house shot up even higher when her SIS (Sexy Italian Sister) showed up at the villa and started doing her topless sunbathing bit. Well, it may not have raised the entire region's temperature but it certainly played havoc with mine.

The UIG, in turn, had her temperature raised by the fact that the SIS brought along their mother -- who spent the entire weekend complaining about everything imaginable.

This morning, Monday, the SIS got in her car and drove back to Milan -- conveniently forgetting to take their mother with her. There was no way that the UIG and I were going to be in Lugano alone with her mother, so we headed back, too -- with Mother in the back seat moaning all the way.

(I was hoping she would get embargoed at the Swiss-Italian border under some arcane EU rule against importing strange creatures, but we had no such luck.)

I know that as good F/T members, you are waiting for me to get to the real meat of this story -- how I got those Starwood points.

I have three credit cards that I generally use. An Israeli Visa which I whip out when I'm home, a German Mastercard that I use throughout the EU, and my Starwood Amex for everywhere else. This keeps my conversion charges to a minimum.

As Switzerland is not part of the EU, I use my Amex there. And, with the UIG showing absolutely no desire to cook when the thermometer was in the Red Zone, I used it a lot. At restaurant after restaurant the points just kept adding up.

Still, as we all know, there is no such thing as too many (or even "enough") points and miles.

When I got my Amex last October, I was given the following offer: 6,000 Starpoints for signing up, 1000 for my first stay at a Starwood, and 500 for each additional stay during the following 12 months (to a maximum of 6000 more points).

I then discovered a little quirk. Anything that you charge at a Starwood property counts as a "stay" for purposes of this promotion (not, unfortunately, for status purposes).

I found this out when I went to the bar in the Tel Aviv Sheraton and paid for my Coke ($3.50) with my Amex. The bonus points appeared magically the next month!

The same thing happened at the Sheraton Four Points in Bolzano (I got one bonus for the stay and a second one for a Coke (3 Euros) I paid for separately in the bar. I tried it again at the Sheraton Moriah in Tiberius ($2.65) and, again, got the points.

It failed in Fort Lauderdale.

I figured out that that the debit there was made to the account of the bar, under its own name, and not the hotel. Hence, no bonus.

Today, when I got back to Milan, I decided to go to the Westin to get my points. Braving the still-steaming heat, I took the trolley most of the way and walked the remainder.

It was in the Westin that I got the world's best Coca-Cola. At least I figured it has to be -- based on the price. It was a mini-mini Coke (200 grams) and cost me 5.5 Euros -- just about $7.

As it wasn't even enough to cool me off, I decided to have another -- but not at those prices. I went across the street to a beautiful wooded park, sat at an umbrella-shaded table, and had got a 500 gram Coke for 2.5 Euros.

Then I walked back into the heat and headed towards the Duomo. The square in front of the Cathedral was jammed with the Faithful. No, not the religious -- the football faithful.

What must have been the world's largest TV screen was set up in the Piazza and the crowds were watching Italy play Australia in the World Cup.

Imagine! Standing out in the heat for a silly thing like that! What kind of a fool would subject himself to beating sun? (Unless, of course, he was doing so to get some points.)