Sing along with me (tune of your choice):

CALite

[Chorus]
Didn't work

Shuttle by United
[Chorus]

You can fly past hubs,
Move the masses,
And management will
Look like asses

MetroJet
[Chorus]

Delta Express
[Chorus]

Improve the product
And kill the tags,
Close the hubs,
Make money in bags.

------------------
...or passengers swim.