Several posts I've read recently mention the good-faith offering of gifts (usually food) to gate agents and FA's. It would never have occured to me to attempt this, as aren't we all taught from childhood to not accept candy from strangers? It seems to me that there must be a subtle art to this, the actual handing over of the gift. I was wondering if anyone had experienced a *negative* reaction in attempting to do this.

I may never attempt it as I would probably feel terribly self-conscious and undignified about it (it rarely happens, so how could it not be interpreted as some kind of bribe, or some kind of condescending "doggie treat" that we pax hand out to the employees when they don't bark at us?). However, it seems that if one does have a go at it, there are some obvious pointers to follow when attempting this operation, in two broad categories:

(1) Do Not Appear Insane. Helpful hints: when offering gift, check beforehand that face is free of drool; do not stare; do not stare at body parts other than eyes; smile; use natural vocal inflections; do not mutter under breath; do not look around anxiously; etc.

(2) Do Not Appear To Be Scheming. Helpful hints: when offering gift, do not say, car-salesman style, "What would it take for you to put me in a First Class seat today?"; do not offer gift immediately before or after making an extraordinary request; do not say, "there's more where that came from"; do not wink, nudge elbow, or stand near gift recipient longer than necessary; etc.

The flip side of the coin -- if the motives in giving the gift are, in fact, dishonorable, i.e. a bribe attempt, how would one communicate this without being obvious about it? Seems like a hopeless challenge in the public spaces that we're dealing with. Has anyone any successes (or humiliating failures) to report in a brazen bribery attempt?

Questions like these are probably a major reason that elite programs are structured the way that they are -- if everyone knows their perk priority level beforehand, and it's automatically implemented by computer, then the power, and thus corruptibility, of airline employees is reduced. But perhaps not eliminated...?