Won't help much for the OP, but for others looking for a luddite-fone, I just picked up a Virgin Mobile Nokia "Shorty" 2115i for my grandmother at Radio Shack for $25. They're hard to find elsewhere, as Virgin has discontinued them.

Virgin Mobile has a poor reputation, but seems perfect for my grandmother's emergency phone. Their business model is centered on ripping off teenagers by charging them very little to start and then selling them lots of ringtones and music videos. But my grandmother just wants a phone she can use to call AAA if she blows a tire, so we put it on the Auto top-up plan, and they just charge her credit card $15 every 90 days and she has a few dozen minutes to use if she needs 'em. I also bought her a car charger in case she forgets to charge it.

Now I just hope she can figure out how to turn the thing on...