That's almost verbatim what the woman at the Embassy told me. She actually said we could have trouble at POE someday, if my husband just continues on VWP, because with us having a home in the U.S., they may assume he's going to try and stay.

On the other hand, if we get the immigrant visa for him but then he doesn't spend the majority of his time in the U.S., he can lose that. And we'd have the tax issue as Pickles mentioned.

I was actually quite shocked to learn that this was going to be so difficult. As a 'mixed' couple, isn't it logical that we'd want to have homes in both countries, and split our time? This must be common.

Right now it isn't such a problem because as long as we are both working in Denmark, our travel pattern to the U.S. is only a few weeks at a time, a few times a year.

But our intention is to split our time between the two countries once we have the time freedom to do so. That's what I was mainly investigating, and was stunned to learn that this will be such a problem.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and input. I've got some further research to do, I can see.

Susan