Hollywood has even picked up on this doublespeak. "Final Destination" is the truly ridiculous term here. Agreed, the vehicle taking you to your final destination is usually black, long, and has a Cadillac insignia.

"one behalf of our [city]-based flight crew, we hope you enjoy your stay in [city] or wherever your travels may take you." (or does that sound too much like "travails")

Other suggestions?