Luggage tags? You aim low. How about 978 drink coupons, 43 club passes, gift certificates to hub terminal businesses, and management's cell phone numbers.

The cell numbers so that I can call them in situations like I had the other day, when an FA on EWR-SFO got really pissy with me because I had a 3 year old who "had to go" to the bathroom (people with kids will know what that's like) during boarding and I had the temerity to go to the front bathroom from row 7 of coach.

This poor 3 year is about to take a leak all over herself and the floor, which the FA knows, and she's trying to force me to go to the back - through about 20 people standing in the aisle putting their stuff in the overheads.

Then, when she decides to let us into the front lav, she yells "You better be quick" as I'm closing the lav door. My daughter went to to the bathroom and we were seated again at least 5-6 minutes before the door closed, and nobody was inconvenienced. In fact, one pilot and two people from FC went in and out of the lav after us - and before the door closed.

I would have called Larry if I had his number.

Sorry for the rant. It ticked me off.